Do you ever feel like you're holding yourself back, afraid to fully show up in your life or work? You’re not alone!
For most people, it’s often a struggle to be truly seen and heard, whether in personal or professional relationships.
Today, I have with me a visibility coach, Alina. She’s here to help us explore the complex journey of being seen. Alina shares her journey from hiding behind characters as an actor to fully owning her voice as a coach and podcast host.
In this podcast episode, Alina takes us through:
- How confidence and visibility are dynamic processes that flow throughout life.
- How early experiences and environments shape our beliefs about being seen.
- How self-criticism is a major block in expressing themselves authentically.
- Alina's 5-step process for boosting confidence.
- The importance of setting healthy boundaries with compassion.
- Self-expression as a way to turn down the volume on your inner critic.
- The connection between visibility work and improvements in various life areas.
- Embracing the ongoing nature of personal growth and self-doubt as part of life.
And so much more!
Alina GG is a Podcaster, Transformational Mindset & Energy Guide and Speaker “Hi I’m AlinaGG, I am here to help you embody your fullest self expression so that you can feel safe to be seen and heard in your life and business!”
I love holding space for my podcast guests and clients so that they can shine bright and share their brilliance with the world! Together we are planting a New Earth grid of light and love to raise the vibration of the Collective Consciousness.
Get Alina’s Free Confidence Booster eGuide at https://www.lovemagicmiracles.com/
Follow on IG @alinagginsta
Follow Aimee Takaya on:
IG : @aimeetakaya
Facebook : Aimee Takaya
Learn more about Aimee Takaya, Hanna Somatic Education, and The Radiance Program at www.freeyoursoma.com
LISTEN WHILE READING!
A: Hello everybody, welcome to Free Your Soma, Stories of Somatic Awakening and How to Live from the Inside Out.
Have you ever felt like it's difficult to be seen, whether that's in your personal life, your intimate relationships, or even in your business?
I am going to talk with Alina GG today, and we are going to explore what it really takes to allow ourselves to be seen and what gets in the way of our visibility and, ultimately, our true self-expression. So stay tuned.
A: Every day, there is a forgetting, and every moment, there is the possibility of remembering. Remembering who you truly are, awakening to your body, to the inner world, to the experience of being alive. Here is where you find the beauty, the joy, and here is where you free your soma. I'm your host, Aimee Takaya. I'm here to help you move from pain to power, from tension to expansion, and ultimately from fear to love.
AG: Hi Aimee.
A: Hi.
AG: How's it going today? Nice to see you.
A: Yeah, I've seen you. Great. Great. Yeah.
A: You're in Australia, so it's nighttime there and it's morning time where I am.
AG: That's right. Yeah. Nice and cozy here. We've got the tail end of winter and I've been making apple crumble and doing all the nurturing things.
A: Fantastic. That sounds good. Yeah. Well, I'm excited to share some of your perspectives today because being seen is something that, especially if you're an entrepreneur or a performer or someone who leads, it's very important that you get more and more comfortable being seen and more and more comfortable being your authentic self. Because when we lead from our authentic self, it's so much more compelling and we can make such a bigger difference in the world.
AG: True. And finally, we can have more impact, and that's the whole reason why it is so important. And if we're going to do anything, we want to show up as our authentic selves and feel great about it, right?
A: Absolutely. Yeah. And it's been something I've been working with for quite some time and I know that you've also been working with us, and you work with clients on this as well.
Can you answer, let's start with a question to kind of orient us to a little bit of your background. When did you realize that it was hard to be seen?
AG: Well, this brings up different memories for me from childhood, adulthood, different relationships, and I feel like there's a real ebb and flow here. And you know, you might relate to this at different stages in your life. You might feel more confident.
You might feel better in your body for whatever reasons, and then you might, you know, sometimes, you know, you might have an injury or a different change of circumstances or a breakup from a relationship and or grieving or the loss of a loved one, and all those things can shake your confidence and make you feel vulnerable.
And when we feel really vulnerable, we don't really feel safe to be like, Hey, this is me. I'm, you know, showing up because it's scary. Yeah.
A: Yeah.
AG: And to your question, when did I first realize I'm sure I had moments as a child where I felt different, of course. And in my sensitivity and my self-expression, I suppose I did hide a little bit.
And, you know, I guess if you ever, you know, teased or bullied at school, then that might make you want to kind of close up a little bit in certain situations. And then I was actually doing acting. So, I really enjoyed that process of getting into character.
And so, I guess on that journey, it was more about me expressing myself through a different persona. It wasn't really me being me. You know what I mean? The parts of me. But then, yeah, so that was a different thing that I played with and studied for many years and I was really into it.
And then I was into my music more and I was performing my own songs in a band on stage and I had an ex-boyfriend at the time and he was jealous of me when I had friends come to watch me. And I just remember feeling like it was unsafe to really express myself publicly or be on stage or, you know, I felt like, oh, this is dangerous.
This feels unsafe. And so then there were many different turning points in my life where I've definitely ebbed and flowed into that and in and out of feeling safe to be seen. And another one that springs to mind is the motherhood journey and then losing my identity after having children and going, who am I?
What am I doing that is not, you know, outside of motherhood? I really felt like I lost a big part of myself, and I had to really work hard to get that back. I'm sure there's probably some listeners that would relate to that. And that's another journey, isn't it?
That's a whole other journey because then we change, and then we still have these parts of ourselves that have always been there. Like, you talk about the little girl and the woman and all these other parts that are like, well, yeah, who am I? Yeah, so.
A: Yeah, well, I love the way that you really point to this, you know, concept of like confidence, right? Which is if we're confident, you know, and feeling secure, then it's more comfortable to be seen, right? To go out in the world and express ourselves.
And I love how you pointed to this being a dynamic living process, really a somatic process and not something that is fixed because I think we may have memories of ourselves as like very confident, you know, or that time we felt really good in our bodies. And then when we're not that, we go like, what happened?
Like, how did I lose that? Versus how you just described it really points to that it's an undulation. It's like the waves in the ocean. It comes and goes. It's this, you know, process of expansion and contraction and that there's this natural rhythm to it.
AG: Definitely. And I feel like I honored that myself today when I had a restful day, and I gave myself permission to rest. And sometimes there's that little voice that feels a bit guilty, or I'm not being productive enough or these things I should be doing.
But I think our nervous system is another really important factor, right? Because we need to be calm to feel grounded, to feel like we can be seated in ourselves and even the next level aligned to our higher selves on our spiritual paths as well.
And if we're in that flight or fright and we're feeling so anxious inside and our hearts racing, then that is, that is like a really unsafe place to be. And there's no confidence in that. Right.
A: Yeah. Confidence is to, you know, show up as our authentic self is going to be pretty low on the survival meter when we're in survival mode, like showing up as our authentic self gets kind of pushed to the back burner, right? Because there's so many other immediate things to attend to.
You know, the other thing you said that I think is really kind of part of what we're talking about here is the way that our environment and the people who are in it have an impact on our, on the way we see ourselves. So, like this boyfriend of yours, like, obviously he had some insecurities.
And because of the way that you two were connected and the way that he kind of put that on you, like, oh, I don't like that this is happening. It started having you question, like, am I safe to, you know, show up? Is it okay for me to receive this attention, or is this something that I should be cautious about? I should be careful about. Is it going to cost me this relationship? Am I in trouble? Like all of these things are working up, right?
AG: Yep, definitely. And as young women, that's an ongoing thing in the way society reflects back to young women, especially. And you've mentioned this in other your episodes about your, you know, your body and when you were growing and changing at an early age.
And then, you know, sometimes people say things that are inappropriate, and society feels that they can always have an opinion about women's bodies, but it's not their body, like their body. So that, you know, I was just thinking about, but, um, oh, it just makes such a difference when you have someone who is there to support you, like my current partner, he is holding me accountable for me to be living my dreams and stepping it up in my business.
And it's made such a difference to my true confidence because I feel like I am enough, right? I am enough. And this is a mantra that I help my clients with is if they're an overwhelm, I say, hey, I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. And if we just let that drop in, it's really powerful and really healing.
A: Did you know that your muscles are holding on to thoughts, memories and feelings? If you have a tight neck or back, you're not just getting old. You're experiencing a buildup of tension from the life you've lived.
Most people don't know this, but there is a part of your brain that can reverse and prevent chronic tension. When you relax your muscles, you not only move better and regulate your nervous system, but you also free yourself from the grip the past has over your body. So you can live with freedom, confidence and enjoy your life now. How does that sound?
Join me, Amy Takaya and discover what my clients are raving about at youcanfreeyorsoma.com. Right. To kind of point to like as I am at this moment, there's nothing that I need to do more of.
I'm not deficient at this moment, right? Because we live in a culture that really pushes that agenda on us that we are incomplete without this product or this experience or this amount of money, right?
And so you're really bringing people back to like a deep fundamental truth about being a person, a living person, which is you are whole and complete at this moment right now, even in whatever emotions or feelings or sensations are coming up. Exactly.
AG: Exactly. And in my life, I've felt a lot of self doubt a lot. You know, and that's I think that's why I'm speaking about true confidence now is because I've felt that so deeply and it's paralyzing, you know, it makes you feel like what's the point? You know, what's the point in doing anything when you when you feel like that?
And I guess we really are here to express ourselves and to give ourselves permission to do that because that's what has a positive ripple effect, you know, in the world around us because when we show up and express and share and inspire and uplift that immediately does the same for others around us and it gives them permission to do so. Yeah.
A: Absolutely. Yeah. You know, freedom is kind of contagious when we when we allow ourselves to be free. We free the other people around us. I completely agree. You know, maybe you can go a little deeper into, you know, that what you pointed to before about this, you know, sometimes it's easier to be seen when we wear a costume or when we put on a show.
And there's a, you know, it's not like that isn't us like that is a part of us, but it's also like a strategy. It can be a way to be more comfortable being seen when we're as a character.
Right. And how do you think that, you know, we can combine those experiences? How could someone be in a character and still also bring themselves forward? What's your experience with that?
AG: Well, I mean, what sort of character are you speaking of? Do you mean in a performance or do you mean on social media?
A: Any perfect. I guess any character, you know, like, like I think that, you know, I guess maybe what I'm speaking of. I think what I'm speaking to is like certain actors can be very good at, you know, being another character while also having like this familiarity.
I think that's like what a lot of these really famous stars do where it's like, you feel like you know them because you've seen them in so many movies, even though they're being a different character right now than the last movie you saw them.
AG: It really depends what your goal is. I think this true satisfaction is in just dropping all the characters and just speaking your truth and owning it and just coming back to your center, coming back to your heart.
And I was reflecting on, you know, the concept of asking for my needs to be met the other day and really going deeper into that and like, well, do I feel safe to be asked to ask for my needs to be met? Number one, number two, do I feel safe to like receive those needs?
Like, and then do I feel safe to enjoy when my needs are met? Because there's a lot of conditioning around that as well as like, well, you should be a little bit constrained or held back or, you know, that scarcity comes into play as well.
The scarcity and abundance. Like, there's enough to go around for everyone really. And we sometimes make ourselves smaller to help other people feel better. But that's really not serving anyone at the end of the day. Right.
A: And I think this goes back to, again, like, you know, whatever kind of feedback from our environment we might be getting at the time. You know, if you're around people, you know, and I'm even thinking about this in like, you know, kind of the context of, you know, say you're in a band or you're a performer or you're doing something.
You know, where you're in this environment, right? Like how much you can really bring your full authentic self and how much you're going to wear a mask, you know, depends on like the people around you and the environment, whether you feel safe to really let your guard down.
And so, you know, like, I think that, you know, how you're describing the dropping in and noticing is part of that process of recognizing, is this me or is this like an environment that I'm in? The work that you do with people, you know, what are some of the biggest blocks that a lot of people have that keep them from being their authentic self?
AG: I think it's that self criticism at, you know, especially as women or women, you know, who are like in their 30s or 40s, they're not like, you know what I mean?
They're perhaps not feeling as youthful as they once did. And, you know, I had a client and she spent a good part of one of our sessions on finding the right filter on Instagram. And that's fair enough.
I use filters on there too sometimes, you know, and that's, that's okay, you know. And but it was a real pressing need for her and she had this energy of panic around it. And I feel like it's this confidence, it can, yes, it's nice to put on a nice dress and our lipstick like we were talking about before, like this red lipstick makes me feel like strong and energized and bright and so it's like everything, it's internally, externally, and at the end of the day, who's life are you living?
And who are you doing it for? Like, you know, who's watching and what, why are you saying what you're saying? What's your messaging?
Because this is how I like to really help my clients is to clarify their messaging and help them align with that so that when they record a video or do some marketing online, they can just drop in, they know what they're saying, they know why they're saying it and they almost become a channel for the message.
And it goes beyond ourselves then. So we get to go beyond our own ego or our identity and we've got a greater message of service. And then we just, it's so transcendent and it's so liberating and it's so empowering. And I want all women to be able to stand in their power and speak their truth.
A: Awesome. Yes. And so self criticism is kind of that the big, the biggest challenge that you see a lot of women having right around their themselves and the way they express themselves is that there's a voice inside that's constantly turning against them and pointing to what they're not doing right or in ways in which they're deficient.
And so what are some of the ways that like, you know, obviously I think even just having that conversation and allowing someone like this woman to, you know, be in her upset about the filter or like be in the panic about it and be witnessed in that. Exactly. I'm sure even just being witnessed in that she becomes more aware of it being something she's doing rather than a way that she is. Right.
AG: Yeah. Yeah. And it's just a process and it's not wrong and it's not bad. And I just, but for me, I was just holding space for that because it was just part of what she had to go through. So it's not like we don't need to not do that or shorten that or, you know, anything like that. It's allowing really, it's allowing all the aspects of ourselves and owning them.
A: Yeah. Yeah. And that can be a hard one to own the part of yourself, especially I think if you're a person who's already done a lot of personal work in some way, and then you have these moments where you see that you are still beating yourself up, that you are still shaming yourself, that you are still in a way being self destructive or even violent towards yourself internally. That can be a really hard thing to look at because you can even start judging yourself for doing that. It's like this vicious cycle, right?
AG: Definitely. Yeah, that self judgment, that imposter syndrome, that's all a big part of it. It's like, you know, who am I to do this? Who am I to say this?
Well, who are you not to say that or not to do that? And yeah, there's always, doesn't matter how many qualifications someone has or how much experience, most people do experience that sense of imposter syndrome at some point.
So I think part of it is acknowledging it and going, there's nothing wrong with you. If you feel insecure or fearful or not good enough or not confident with technology or understanding how to use social media, because that's what some people need help with as well.
If you weren't born into the generation that was born with an iPad in their face, then there's some other skills to learn and it's not that hard if you've got someone to help show you. Yeah, so yeah, it's a multifaceted ongoing.
A: And it sounds like you really help people to step into more of a growth mindset where they think, oh, I'm in a learning process. I'm in a process of developing and learning different skills, different ways of being that I previously had.
And when you look at it that way, it's there's a lot more like future, you know, there's a lot more hope versus I don't know what I'm doing and I, you know, I'm messing up all the time and, you know, I always feel this way.
I hear that a lot in people's languaging when they start speaking about themselves like, oh, I always have this thought and I always do this and I never that it's like they're keeping themselves fixed and like, you know, just one way, you know, with the work that I do with people's like bodies and with musculature, it can often reflect like some of the stuff you're talking about where they have, you know, these fixed ideas about how their life is or about how they are that are very limiting, right, these limiting beliefs, and it literally shows up as limitations in their muscles, like in the way that their body moves.
And so I'll listen for that when they're saying, oh, I always have this pain on my left side or I always have this ache here or there, you know, part of me is going, well, there's some emotional mental experiential thing going on there that would be, you know, really interesting to start taking a look at and that winding. Yeah.
AG: So, a belief is just a habitual thought as a repeated thought pattern. And most of our thoughts are recycled from the day before. So unless we question our thoughts and when we wake up in the morning, we start the day with some kind of awareness.
We're going to keep repeating those patterns and experiencing the same pain and limitations. And it takes courage to move beyond that. And that's step one of wanting to increase our confidence and our visibility is choosing courage and you can't get away from that. And it's really about feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
A: Yes, yes. I love what you just said about a belief being a habitual thought pattern, right? And it's interesting too, because like, you know, the idea of belief, because I've been thinking about this a lot, maybe you can tell me what you think, but like, we have these beliefs that a lot of them, you know, are unconscious, meaning that we're not aware of them, habitual is another word for that.
It's like, it's, it's rote. We've been just thinking this way and doing this way of living for so long. It's just how we are. It's how we think we are, but it's actually, you know, we can dig into it and we could identify a belief system or beliefs about things. That though, the process of identifying a belief is kind of something we do retrospectively and usually as adults looking back.
It's to me, I mean, I would probably venture to guess that it's more of like an executive brain function, like something that really starts happening more and more after we're like 26 years old and that part of our prefrontal cortex is like more developed. I mean, I could build a hypothesis around that.
But when we build those beliefs, some of those beliefs, most of those beliefs were founded were created when we were children, right? It's like very early experiences that are defining that, right? And so I guess my hypothesis is, is that in the beginning, when we have that experience as a child, it's not a belief yet.
It's just a somatic living experience. It's, it's, yes, it could be thoughts, but it's also physical sensations, muscle contractions, posturing a way that we're moving or holding our bodies at that moment that coincides with a feeling and a sense that is creating what we will one day call a belief that we start, we can look back and go, Oh, that's when I started believing that I was not good enough.
But not good enough wasn't even like a thought at the time when you're like six, it's just this feeling in your body, it's just this somatic experience, this living experience, and of maybe making yourself smaller, a feeling afraid, you know, of being nervous around certain people or environments, right?
And then it's only in retrospect when we look back as adults that we can identify and and name it, right? And there's so much power to naming it, there absolutely is. But just looking at it like, you know, that it's not just a mental process, it's like a physical experience that we had. Definitely.
AG: And if you want to know how you identify and what you believe to be true about yourself, then look at how you act and look at how you behave and start to listen to your words and notice how you spend your time and your money because that reflects your values as well.
So, you know, it's an interesting process to identify what are our values and what's true for us. And then when we spend more time honoring those values, and we become happier as well because we're going, Well, I really need to spend time in nature and I need to have quality time with my partner.
And, you know, when I don't have those two things, it's like, Oh, you know, it's like, OK, well, let's fill up my life with all those things that make me happy, you know, and am I someone who wants to show up for myself? Well, yes, because I'm here now talking to you.
And, you know, I could have canceled and like I could have gone, Oh, no, I'm not, you know, I could have found a million reasons why not to be here right now. And, you know, it's just like it's just an example of how do you want to shop yourself? You know, every day because no one else is going to do it for you, right? Yes.
A: And having that beautiful discernment of like, you know, when is it going to be the right time? And maybe this goes back to what you first talked about, about it being a living dynamic process, this expansion and contraction. Like there are going to be moments where it's totally the right thing to say no and to cancel plans or and that's showing up for yourself, right?
Like they're showing up for the world and then they're showing up for ourselves, right? And we get to choose and it sounds like, you know, at this moment right now with me, like you made the choice of like, I know it's been a long day, but like I've been thinking about this, I'm ready to have this conversation, you know, and you showed up because that's what you were ready to do at this moment is part of that flow, you know?
AG: And it's such an opportunity and these conversations are not to be taken lightly and, you know, they are transformative because I know you and I have done the work for many years. We've studied in India. We've been using ourselves and our bodies and our whole layers of being as an experiment, a science experiment and it's very valuable. Yes.
A: I love the word experiment. I used to say, you know, even with my yoga practice, once upon a time, I was like, I'm a scientist in the laboratory of my body. Like I'm learning every time that I wake up and I experience the world through my body. Like I'm learning something and I'm experimenting and exploring and, you know, so I really resonate with what you just said and, you know, not everybody has such an opportunity.
And so people like us who, you know, who've had those opportunities to spend that time on inner growth, you know, we're living resources for people. And, you know, so you have your own podcast. I got to be on your podcast and talk about somatics. And now here you are on my podcast, which is so lovely. And, you know, I just, I appreciate you because you're very grounded, you know, like I can tell you do a lot of work to bring yourself kind of back to now.
Right. Like when I think about that word grounded, like, what does it really mean? I think it kind of means bringing ourselves back into that nowness of like right now. And, you know, that's, that's what I get from you a lot. That's what I got when I was on your show also is just how much you kind of bring things into the present moment, that that seems to be a pretty strong practice of yours. And, you know, I can appreciate that because that's, you know, that's really all we have, right? It's like right now.
AG: It's so true. And, you know what? It's, I think what I love about podcasts and having these conversations, it is a practice that makes, makes one present in that moment because sometimes I am quite, you know, I can be a bit spaced out as well, but it's great because it's like it's this fantastic vessel to use and feel the energy that's, that's co-creating together and, you know, with the divine, it's great. Absolutely.
A: I feel like you, you know, you have that presence that, you know, you probably could do a live stream. Have you ever thought about having your podcast as a live stream versus a recording?
AG: Oh, wow. That would really test my confidence. Oh, wow. I mean, it would be a good experiment, wouldn't it? And just see what, what comes out. Yeah. Yeah.
A: Yeah. I mean, there's a podcast that I, I was invited to be part of that. And yeah, I can send you an invite because he has a really cool format. And, you know, this is again, kind of coming back to like pushing ourselves to like newer levels of being seen, but it's a live stream podcast that has guests that are like watching the live stream in the Zoom room. And then when the podcast ends, they have an after party. And so then everybody gets to ask questions of the guests and stuff.
So it'd be like if there are, you know, the people who are watching us now, like, what if they were with us live? And then, you know, then we get, we close the podcast and then they all get to like ask you questions or you get to take them through a process. Like, I think it's a really cool idea, but that's just like one way, you know, maybe you can share some ways in which you offer that challenge people to step into a new level of visibility. Like, what are some of the actions that you tell people would be helpful to take?
AG: Well, in my, I've got a free freebie, a free, uh, boost your confidence eGuide and there's five steps in there. And it includes choosing the courage like we were talking about and also trusting your intuition.
And I feel like this is really important because I have one of the experiments I've done on myself is, you know, I'll be recording a video with a message for social media, for Instagram. And I just felt off and I was in the forest. I was like surrounded by trees. So that was nice, but I still wasn't getting it and I didn't feel good.
But I thought, just keep going because we get clarity from action. So I recorded, you know, 10 different videos and keep going, keep going. And I got to a point I was like, well, hang on. It's just cause I need to just sit down, take a breath, meditate, just come back to center, align my energy and then do it again.
And of course, there was a whole different energy and I felt better within myself. And so that's really important. And I think intuition is like a muscle. And when, you know, the more we listen to it and act on it and integrate it into our lives, then it gets stronger and stronger. And like we can start to listen with our whole body. You must have experienced this, right?
A: Oh yeah. No, intuition, intuition is not a mental state. Intuition is a physical somatic experience in your body, because if you're just listening to the thoughts that are coming through your head, you know, I've had all kinds of thoughts moving through my head, but my intuition is saying, no, go ahead and do this.
AG: Yes, exactly. Because our mind plays tricks on us to keep us safe because of our, you know, nervous system, the part of our brain that likes familiarity. That's just part of our wiring. And so for us to take a risk and grow and expand, and always the growth is in the, when in the, you know, out of our comfort zone is when we grow. So that's what we need to do within reason.
And so number three, actually, which ties into that is honouring our boundaries, listening, listening to our boundaries and setting those healthy boundaries with compassion for ourselves and others.
And this is another one that gets better with practice because, you know, when I was first consciously trying to set more boundaries with people, it just felt so clunky, you know, and sometimes you can feel a bit overreactive or a bit heightened or like, oh, you know, that felt bad.
That felt wrong. I don't like it when you do that. Or, you know, but if we can own our feelings and go, I feel this, you know, I would love it. I would feel respected if you were, if you did this or if you didn't do this. So when we're a bit clearer and we can own that, then it makes it easier for the other person to receive and actually does them a favour because it's they, they know where they stand with us, right?
A: Yes, I love that. The way you describe that, it really you, you like illustrated the essence of boundaries or something we do for, to protect ourselves, not to stop other people from doing things. That can be how it feels in the beginning when we're learning this new skill. It can be like, oh, I'm identifying all this behaviour or these things that I don't like that I want to stop.
And we put the focus outside of ourselves. But what you're speaking to is like you said ownership and, and what am I, how am I going to hold my needs and inform people of my, my boundaries as a, as a way to honour myself, not as a way to stop other people from doing, having certain behaviours or doing things, right? That's a beautiful distinction.
AG: And it's really important in relationships as well. And like when we are honest with ourselves and then, you know, we can be honest with others and we can expect them to be honest with us.
And then if it, if it's not right, we can always leave or change. But I think stepping up into honouring your boundaries and letting go of people pleasing is it can really change your life. So for the better, because we're getting to the truth of our hearts and what we really want to manifest.
And so it's not for the faint hearted, but if you want a quantum leap to, you know, greater love and money and health and all the good things, then, you know, step into your boundaries, own it and have the courage to be vulnerable. And because it does feel, you know, if it's like if we've been triggered or activated and then we're expressing how we feel, that's like the scariest thing in the world.
And seriously. And but it pays off though, because the alternative and I experienced this earlier on in my relationship where I would like keep quiet and not say something and it just would eat you up inside. Like it would just be, it would become worse because it wasn't voiced. Like you were saying earlier. Yeah. Yeah.
A: The suppression and the holding in, you know, and it shows up in people's muscles, it shows up in their physical bodies. Like that idea that we end up manifesting illness and disease when we push and push stuff down, right?
And I mean, the interesting thing, and this is like kind of, you know, just something that I personally notice is that we use all kinds of different things to push our feelings down, you know, from food to alcohol to like certain behaviors, you know, anything that we're doing can be done like with the intention to suppress and to ignore, right?
Ourselves in the same way, those same activities, you know, can be done as a way to connect with ourselves, you know, from from eating to exercising to, you know, self-pleasure or whatever it is that could also be labeled like, you know, an escape can also be like a way to connect. Right?
AG: Mm hmm. Yeah, that's true. That's true. And that's up to us individually to be honest with ourselves again and check into that. What's really going on here? How do I really feel?
A: Right. Yeah. Right. And am I operating from a place of lack, you know, like I'm missing something or am I operating from a place of wholeness and like value and, and honoring my, my feelings, even if they're really unpleasant at this moment?
AG: Yeah, that's a good point too, because that, that leads me to in life when we have the belief that things are working in our favor and things are working out for us. It is so empowering and it does invite unforeseen blessings into our lives because I observe myself if, if I start to go down, you know, a bit of a victim thought, you know, oh no, why did this happen to me? Oh, that's annoying. And then it's just makes you smaller and smaller and less and less happy with what's actually going on in your environment. So, um, yeah, that's important.
A: You mentioned three so far. I know you have five.
AG: What's the fourth? Well, the fourth is to observe our thoughts and be a witness. And so, you know, no matter what is going on around us, uh, know that it will pass if it's unpleasant or not our preference. And if it's something that's great, then enjoy it because it's okay to enjoy life. I think that's, that's one of the most important things because the vibration of joy is one of the highest vibrations. And there you go.
A: Right. Yeah. I've heard that, you know, it's, it's especially for someone recovering from, you know, trauma or from being afraid in life, afraid of being seen and visible and all those things, right? It's harder sometimes to allow joy to come in and feel joy.
And it's easier to go back to those default, you know, self criticism patterns and negativity patterns because it's the vibration we're used to, you know. So what you're speaking to is it's a practice, right? It's something that we, you know, do over and over until we can get more and more comfortable receiving that good feeling and trusting that it's okay to feel good.
AG: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's okay to feel good and to have that conscious thought and remind ourselves because when we feel, when we hit that upper limit of joy and let's just say we want to, we feel better than we've ever felt before, that can feel a bit scary too because it's the unknown.
Yeah. So it's, if we know that in our minds, then next time we feel that and we, you know, sometimes people could feel good, but then pick a fight for the sake of it or something or do some kind of other self sabotage because then they come back to the familiar even if it feels like crap, you know. So yeah, so that's, but the other thing with judgment, because I was listening to this some Deepak Chopra CD, like, oh, it was, yeah, it was on, just on Apple Music, but it was, he was talking about when we judge things, we're making them wrong.
And if we can just let go of judgment just for today, then it's just a more peaceful way to be easier said than done sometimes. But I think that leads into be careful of comparison, comparing yourself to others, especially on social media or other people with other businesses, you know, someone might have been running a business for 10 years and they've got it, you know, all sorted because it's been working away at it for that long.
And if you've only been in business for two years and you're not doing the numbers that everyone else says they're doing, and, you know, it's like, we can't compare, you know, it's got to be apples and apples. And even then, who are you comparing yourself to? Because it's really only up to us to compare ourselves against what we want in our hearts.
Like we know when we've done a good job or we've really risen to the occasion or we've expressed ourselves, you know, or when we've shied away from an opportunity, we can, yeah, there's no point looking at other people and comparing ourselves to them because that leads to misery. Right.
A: And I can see how this ties in with, you know, that idea that like, you know, we like that imposter syndrome that you mentioned earlier, because, you know, here we are, you and I sitting here and somebody could like look at my business or look at your business and they could go, oh my God, Aimee, you've only been doing this, you know, somatic like facilitation coaching thing for two years and you're like doing so amazing and you're running retreats. Like, you know, how are you doing this?
Like, why am I not having that experience? And like what they don't see or what they don't understand is that I've actually been like, you know, a professional yoga teacher and an entrepreneur and a world traveler since I was like 23. You know, I've actually been doing this my life because I am my business.
Right. Here you are and you and you have a podcast and you're helping people with visibility, you know, if you've been doing that for X amount of time and someone could look at you and, you know, be comparing that and it's like what they don't see is that, oh, you were a performer performing on stage, you know, singing at your own music that you studied acting that you've always kind of been in this position, you know, and being been working with how do I feel more and more comfortable showing up as myself?
Like that that's a journey you've been on your whole life, you know, and when we take away the comparison, it's like we get to see how each person has an entire lifetime of wisdom and experience that they're bringing to this like present moment. Right. Yes.
AG: Yeah. That's beautiful. And that's that's where it's at, you know, what individual wisdom can we channel from our own lived experience and share with the world? Yes.
A: And there's no comparison there because we've all lived a unique and, you know, perfectly unique to us, you know, life that is going to resonate with someone out there who who needs to hear our story that needs our unique imprint, you know, to be felt. Yeah.
AG: And it's a gift and it's service. And when something comes from service, then all the other stuff doesn't matter. It just falls away.
A: Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, did you mention number five here?
AG: I'm sorry. I love these numbers. Number five, express yourself. Yeah. So that's it. Because then as we, that's the opposite of that inner critic. So we turn the dial down on our inner critic. I don't know if it ever goes away. It might just, it might still be in there, but we, when we observe it and become aware of it, we go, okay, okay, fine. See it for what it is.
Just gradually turn the dial down, whoever you can. But as we increase our self expression and giving ourselves permission to speak and sing and do whatever lights you up, paint, dance, bake, you know, hold events, retreats, whatever it is, you know, then it's like we're too busy, engaged in that activity, you know.
A: Yeah.
AG: Yeah. And there's so many different ways that we can explore expressing ourselves. There's not like one way that it needs to be done. Right. Yeah. So this is a, this is a freebie that you have. People can go find this list and go deeper into these different, can you say what it is again, five?
AG: Yeah. It's a confidence booster e-guide and it's on my website, which is lovemagicmiracles.com.
A: Awesome. Yeah. Go check that out because that was a really lovely list. I think it took us a while to get through it, but I liked that because we got to kind of play with and explore each category. Right. Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah. So tell our listeners where they could find you if they want to, you know, learn more from you, if they want to work with you, if they want to listen to your podcast.
AG: Yeah, sure. So the podcast is also called Love Magic Miracles and it's on YouTube at the moment. And I've got quite a few episodes there and I've got a plan to consistently roll them out on the other platforms soon, but I'm intentionally just building up a beautiful bank there on YouTube. And there's some really great conversations.
Amy's going to be on there as well. And in terms of, yeah, working with me, my main program at the moment is private coaching and it's called Safe to Be Seen and it's there on the website. And it's, it's a deep dive for 12 weeks.
And we can really shift any and all those blocks, you know, holding, holding it back from enjoying the life that you want to live. And I think when we work on these issues, it's not about just your business or it's not just about, you know, your relationships or your health.
You find that obviously everything's connected. One lady that I worked with, she said she found it easier to set boundaries with her mother and she'd been having a difficult time and found it very hard to do for many, many years and was able to do that.
So I think there can be all sorts of shifts that, that you can experience when you come back to your heart and you have someone holding you accountable and holding a beautiful safe space for you. So that's what I'm here to do is just hold a beautiful safe space to help bring people back to their hearts. Yeah. Wonderful.
A: I think I really see what you mean about it being connected to all different kinds of, you know, being seen as so fundamental and we think have that simultaneous, like deep desire to be seen to kind of have that feedback of like, I exist and I exist this way right now. Right. And then we also have that fear of it.
Right. Because I think, you know, you touched on this, but when we, you know, speak our truth and when we show up as ourselves, we've got to like be with that ourselves too. Like it's not just we're, I'm not just asking other people to be with that truth. We're asking ourselves to be with that truth. And that's, that's the real work there.
AG: Exactly. That's where it starts. And I had a lady on the show from the School of Visibility and she said something so beautiful, which I'll never forget. She said consciousness wants to witness itself. And it's just so deep and so true.
And then you can't let go of any, any fears around any vanity or anything like that. It's like, well, what is your expression? How do you want to feel?
How do you, how do you want to show up and how do you want other people to feel when they see you? Yeah. And for me, it's about uplifting and inspiring. And that, that is what drives me. And that's my purpose because I feel great when I'm inspired. I feel like I can do anything. And yeah, I want other people to feel that energy too.
A: That's fantastic. I love that. And, you know, kind of circling back to the first, you know, kind of kernel here that you shared with us, which is that it's a process and it's a living, dynamic thing and there are going to be for everybody, even you and me, those moments of self doubt, those moments of questioning, those moments of fear. They're, they're part of this process. They're not there to be gut. We're not trying to get rid of them or eliminate them, you know, it's, it's part of the experience. Yeah.
AG: That's true. It's good to honor that and that's real. And then, you know, people who might promise that will just completely go away. It's that's, I don't know, is that I just don't think that that's real. The human experience is the human experience and we're growing and we're learning and we're evolving and we're finding our voice and we're stepping up. And that's all helping each other because collaborating is fun.
A: Oh, absolutely. It's wonderful. And then, you know, when you were saying that, I was like, Oh, because, you know, we spend a third of our lives asleep. We spend, you know, what, like eight hours, ideally of a 24 hour period, like literally unconscious, not moving, you know, just laying there.
It's like, well, we're going to, we're going to need to have those like down moments, they're part of like our rhythm. They're part of having the energy, that doubt, that fear, you know, if you dig into it, if you play with it, if you get to know it, right? Like with the work that you're doing with people, right? And it's similar to the work that I'm doing with people in a different way, right?
It's you're actually, those are those moments that have a lot of building of your compassion, building of your confidence to be able to be faced with that, with that doubt. It's the same as like falling asleep for eight hours. So you have the energy to be awake the next day, right?
AG: Yeah. Yeah. It's the contrast. Yeah. It's like that concept of the law of attraction, you know, talking about the contrast and, and seeing that for what it is, you know, and it's like, well, you know, when you miss your lover and they're away from you, that's the contrast that makes you really enjoy them. When you're back together again.
A: Beautifully said. Yeah. Yeah. This has been such a lovely conversation. Is there any, you know, last words or last, you know, thoughts you'd have to share with our audience? Hmm.
AG: There's only one of you like a snowflake and you are needed. The world needs you. You are here for a reason. Yeah. Yeah.
A: Beautiful. Thank you. Pleasure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, go ahead and check out, is it say your website again?
AG: lovemagicmiracles.com. And that's the same as your podcast, right? Yep. On YouTube. Yeah. Awesome. On YouTube. Yeah. Check it out. Connect with Alina Gigi and, you know, feel a little tiny bit more safe to be seen after listening to this, if you can.
See if you can invite yourself, maybe go look at her, you know, the five ways to build your confidence and just play with that today. Play with those ideas that you've been hearing today and what it might take for you to be 2% more seen, you know, in your relationship, in your business.
AG: Yeah. Keep choosing courage. Yeah. And always late summer, great. Yeah.
A: Yeah. Wonderful speaking with you. We'll talk again soon.
AG: Thank you.
A: Hey there, friends. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I would love to hear your thoughts. Follow me on Instagram at AimeeTakaya and send me a DM about this episode. I'd like to thank you for being part of this somatic revolution. And if you'd like to support the podcast and help more people learn about somatics, consider leaving a review or a rating.
And finally, if you'd like to have the experience of relief in your tight hips or back and learn to understand what your body is really saying to you, visit youcanfreeyoursoma.com. I can't wait to share with you what is truly possible. Bye for now.
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