If you have TMJ, jaw tension, facial tension (resting bitch face) or neck pain- read this post by my friend and client
- aimeetakaya
- Aug 5
- 2 min read
Updated: Aug 6
"you wouldn't be able to tell at all just from looking at me, what kinda intense nazi-level enforcement was happening below the surface.
my face felt stiff, hard, and heavy like those big round iron manhole covers on roads to access underground sewage lines.
underneath that manhole cover was a hidden reality of pain and lostness.
i was living with my parents, in between jobs. feeling stifled and terrified of my life's trajectory. back in their energy field, back in the box i'd outgrown, it almost convinced me that all the ways i'd evolved didn't matter.
because here i was, the powerless, voiceless child again, playing out their version of me. the placid scene of suburban life versus the internal wildness of my existential crisis - two grotesquely split realities.
old survival patterns re-emerged, even louder, just to exist in their reality.
my face - the interface between my inner and outer worlds - was tightly patrolled by border control. if any vulnerable, truthful feeling dared to inadvertently slip out? immediate deportation and electrocution by shame.
you can imagine how tiring and uptight you'd gotta be to keep this up. that's a full time job - all day, everyday holding up the pretense of okness while holding back hostaged criminals.
doing to myself internally what was done to me externally.
well those unacceptable "criminal" emotions inside me were getting rowdier and louder everyday - sick of feeling disenfranchised, ashamed, judged, and mistreated.
the stigma against them, the isolation and loneliness, the hopelessness, despair, anger, frustration, and resentment… all of it was brewing inside this unjust system.
the muscle control to keep them at bay were starting to falter.
one day on a walk, when i was feeling exceptionally unwell with all this inner prison mutiny, an idea plopped into my mind...."
follow me on ig: @ kwonyin
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