Ep127: Common Myths About Somatic Healing with Chelsea Horton

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What if everything you thought you knew about somatic healing was wrong? 

Aimee welcomes Chelsea Horton—a board-certified dance and movement therapist, somatic coach, and founder of Healing Embodied—to debunk common myths about what it really means to "feel your feelings" and heal somatically. 

From the misconception that healing requires dramatic catharsis to the oversimplification of nervous system regulation, Chelsea shares why true somatic work is a gentle, layered, and deeply personal journey—not a quick fix. 

If you've ever felt frustrated or confused by the buzzwords around somatics, this episode will give you the clarity and context you need.  

Chelsea takes us through:

• Why somatic healing isn't about getting rid of your feelings 

• The difference between regulation, capacity building, and trauma resolution 

• Why catharsis isn't the goal—and what actually works 

• How resistance is always the doorway to the real work 

• Why true safety comes from within, not from controlling your environment 

And so much more!

Guest Bio

Chelsea Horton is a somatic coach, educator, and founder of Healing Embodied, where she trains wellness professionals and leaders to integrate somatics, creativity, and emotional healing into their work. With a master’s degree in Dance and Movement Therapy, she combines body-based practices, nervous system healing, and trauma-informed care to help people move beyond traditional talk therapy and fully process emotions in the body. 

After burning out in community mental health, Chelsea built a business rooted in humanity over hustle, co-creating a thriving embodiment coaching program with her COO, Sarah, that teaches practitioners to lead with presence, intuition, and creativity.

A published author and presenter at the UCLA Expressive Therapies Conference, her work explores anxiety, shame, religious trauma, inner child healing, and embodiment. Known for her humor and authenticity, she brings a grounded, playful perspective to healing—shaped by her life as a former worship leader turned pole dancer, improv enthusiast, and lifelong dinosaur lover.

Connect with Chelsea:

Website: https://www.healingembodied.com/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelsea-horton/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chelseajoyhorton 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healing.embodied 

Chelsea’s podcast: The Healing Embodied Podcast

Connect with Aimee:

Instagram: @aimeetakaya 

Facebook: Aimee Takaya 

Learn more about Aimee Takaya, Hanna Somatic Education, and The Radiance Program at⁠⁠ https://www.freeyoursoma.com/ 

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A: Hey there, listener. Welcome to Free Your Soma with Aimee Takaya. We're going to talk about somatics today. What do you know? We're on a somatic podcast. We're going to talk about somatics.

And I have a very special guest today, Chelsea Horton, who is a somatic coach, educator, and founder of Healing Embodied, where she trains wellness professionals and leaders to integrate somatics, creativity, and emotional healing into their work.

We will be talking about some of the common misconceptions and even myths that exist about what it means to actually start being in your body and feeling your feelings.

So we're going to dive into that and just sort of reveal more about this realm of somatics, as it is kind of growing in our understanding of it as a culture, as it's growing as like a buzzword on the internet, and help- hopefully you make some choices and discernment about what part of this journey is actually fitting where you're at at this time. So stay tuned, can't wait to have this conversation and share it with you as usual.

A: Every day there is a forgetting, and every moment there is the possibility of remembering. Remembering who you truly are, awakening to your body, to the inner world, to the experience of being alive. Here is where you find the beauty, the joy, and here is where you free your soma. I'm your host, Aimee Takaya. I'm here to help you move from pain to power, from tension to expansion, and ultimately from fear to love.

C: I'm so excited to have this conversation. It's so important, and just like you said, somatics is becoming a buzzword, understandably so.

A: Yes, because there's a lot out there, and there's not a whole lot of- I mean, obviously, like, there's not a lot of regulation yet, not that I'm suggesting we get a lot of that, you know, particularly around this. I like that so many somatic practices are less clinical, although they can certainly be administered in a clinical setting.

But I think that part of what's so beautiful about it is that it's very exploratory and open. So I'm not necessarily inviting that regulation, but I am inviting like I was kind of said in the intro, people need to have some education themselves about what to expect, what it really means to heal, especially from complex things like trauma, and what's out there, what's appropriate for me at this time. Right, so I would love if you wanted to just introduce yourself a little bit to our audience, a little bit about your background and how maybe you became a somatic coach.

C: Oh, absolutely. So I am a board-certified dance and movement therapist. I'm a somatic practitioner, I also train other practitioners. And when I tell people I'm a dance and movement therapist, they just go cock-eyed and they're like, what is that? So dance and movement therapy is basically a blend of somatic therapy and creative arts therapy. And I got into this work, I really feel like it shows me like no one is just wakes up and like, what are the careers out there?

Dance and movement therapy. Yeah, that sounds good. It's just like unicorn husbandry. My husband's like, unicorn husbandry? I'm like, it's a thing. So I got my undergraduate degree in just counseling psychology. I found myself being really drawn to psychology. Of course, you know, a child from a functional home, we're all interested in psychology. And so I knew I wanted to do something with psychology in counseling. And at the same time, I was a theater kid, I was a dancer.

I almost went to undergrad for musical theater. So I couldn't see myself leaving out like movement and expression and such a big part of who I am and what I love. And so I was like, huh, is there a way where I could combine therapy and dance?

And so I started researching and discovered dance and movement therapy, got my master's degree in dance and movement therapy, did my thesis research with survivors of sexual trauma, worked in the mental health setting full time for two years at a school, from depression, trauma, suicidality, OCD, psychosis.

So I got like a wealth of experience of the various applications of somatic work with people in a range, just such a range. And I learned very early on that the mental health system was going to burn me out. I was like, oh, gosh, this is not sustainable for me, especially when we're doing body work, we're attuning so much. It's like my body is very much right.

A: Well, and maybe I'll pause right here because I feel like this may actually be like a really kind of crucial kind of point that you're getting to here, which is that, you know, in a very clinical setting, right, with people who are experiencing and maybe at the point in their journey where they're in a pretty severe state, some of the more refined healing practices are not actually possible for them at that moment.

And so it's a lot of work for you as a practitioner to kind of keep trying to invite them into something that their nervous system is not quite ready for. What do you think of that?

C: Oh, absolutely. And thank you for saying that. And because that was a big thing that I was noticing that the majority of my work was simply regulation, awareness, and also inviting people into new ways of connecting with one another. Yes, relational. Relational healing, which was incredible, like to see people who came in post suicide attempt to feel connected to the people around them like was incredible. And so even in that setting, the work was really beautiful and profound. And I could only take people so far because they're still in that crisis.

A: Yes. And they haven't developed the somatic capacity to really process the deeper stuff, which often takes a lot of foundational work to be able to get there.

And they have to be stable at a certain point. Like, they have to find that not only, like you said, that capacity within their nervous system, but also, you know, the environmental stability. When you're in a psych ward, that is not a place where you're going to develop this sense of belonging and ownership.

It's when you leave the psych ward and you have your job or your apartment or your home again, that the person's actually going to be able to feel more of that like security that's going to allow them to, you know, expand that capacity in their nervous system.

Because in that clinical environment, you know, they're just kind of on a feedback loop of, you know, the intense crisis mode, you know, and, and the, you know, this gets back to your original point. The people who are working in those environments are often overworked, underpaid, burning out.

And so they're not able to provide that level of stability for the, for the client or for the patient. You know, so the whole, the whole structure there just has limits, has big, fat limits, right, on what you can provide, on what you can accomplish, on what the person can experience, right?

C: Oh, I have full body chills. You're speaking my language. This is what I talk about all the freaking time when healers, when practitioners, when therapists are overworked and underpaid, like they're not going to provide high quality care. Like human, all humans, no matter what role you play, have a limited capacity. We're all humans. And so like you said, the system is designed in a way where you can only go so far, both in the, the profession as a therapist and both as a client or a patient.

And yeah, I could feel within my own body, I'm like, Oh, this is not sustainable. Like I have to, we're kind of expected to work the same types of hours as someone who's doing way less intense work. Oh yeah. There's no like hazard pay for like being a therapist at a psychiatric facility.

A: Yeah. And energetically, it's just huge impact on your internal, you know, system. So, you know, you had that phase, you realized it just wasn't sustainable for you to continue to move forward in this career in maybe the way that you really felt told to. And so how did that pivot go? How did it, how did it flow to start turning a different direction and leaving a clinical setting?

C: Yeah, it was quite a journey because, you know, the school system kind of sets you up. They're like, Okay, you get this degree, you go get these types of jobs. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, shit.

What? So I was like, what else is possible for me? Because I want to really help people heal in a deep way.

And I don't want to burn myself out. Like, so I started just in even asking those questions and asking myself what else is possible. It was like, I started attracting conversations with people who were doing things differently, who had their own practices, or like, we're just doing cool things in a different way. And I never in a million years thought I would be an entrepreneur. Like never thought I would start my own business.

I was just like, No, that's not me. Like, I want, I want the security. I want, I want, I want to get a job, you know, especially growing up very poor. It's like, Okay, you get the degree, you get the job, you're safe, you're secure for life.

A: Right, right. Entrepreneurship is not a safety route.

C: Yeah, it's a different kind of safety. Yes. But like, culturally, it's seen as very risky. And but I was like, I want to build something. I want to create something.

Like, I want to really help people heal in a way that deep in my soul, I know that I am meant to help people. And so I started like dabbling on the outside after my full time job. And then eventually, things started kind of building. And then I went to part time at my job and building some more. And then I got like a second contract position at the VA to supplement.

And then like, to start a building, building, building, and then suddenly COVID hits. And now it's like, my contract got canceled. I quit my part time position at the hospital.

And now I'm full time in my business. And I'm like, okay, like sink or swim, baby, here we go. And like, here I am going on seven, this year will be our seventh year. Yeah, it's been it's been quite a journey. And now I'm like, oh, my God, I was always meant to be an entrepreneur. I'm like, so grateful that to have the freedom, the creativity, and to be able to do, like you said, that deeper work with people, it's just so incredibly rewarding.

A: Beautiful. I love that there was a nice gradual sort of process, you know, like, and that's probably the thing that also relates to the somatic work, like, we are not just going to change these lifelong patterns of protection, right, that or survival that have got us where we are for better or worse, you are going to have to reorganize things, you know, carefully, tenderly, and allow things to circle back and allow ourselves to go back into our patterns of protection, to emerge from them again, and it's a rhythm, right. And so even in your transition from a clinical setting, you know, you didn't just like wake up one day, quit your job and like start your business and boom, it all happened.

It's like, no, we have to be, you know, kind of in this process with still providing ourselves the safety, right, the safety of that part-time job of working for the VA, right, there was safety in that as you started to move into new territory, right, and that really is a somatic process of being able to keep that feeling of safety. Okay, you're not ready to let go of the chocolate chip cookies yet.

There's still the thing that makes you feel like you're down regulating at night, like, okay, you know, just have like maybe one half less cookie tonight and do a meditation instead and then slow fade from the cookies into a space where you now feel like you don't need them to feel that sense of down regulation or calm, you know, so I think there was a lot there in your story that like actually demonstrated some of the reality of what it means to somatically heal versus what we sometimes expect from ourselves.

So maybe this can take us right into this idea, you know, common myths. This is one of your talking points, right, and the info I read about you and I thought it was really interesting because I'm like, let's explore that. Like, what are some of these myths that people have about what it means to somatically heal?

C: Yeah, first of all, I love the way you said all of that about, you know, titrating out of our old safety patterns into the new pattern. So just beautifully articulated.

A: Thank you.

C: Yeah, I feel like a lot of common myths, and because it's becoming so popularized and we're seeing it on social media, social media only shows snippets of things, right? It can't possibly show an entire process with all the context. So we're getting all these like sound bites, all these snippets of, okay, this is somatic healing, do this, you know, 30-second process to release your anger, do this every day for 30 seconds to heal your trauma.

And it's like, okay, people are becoming more aware, but we're losing so much context. Yes, yes. This is a long form content kind of conversation.

100%. And it's like, I understand why it's becoming so popularized because those who do it feel the difference. Like we almost become like, we become so passionate about it because we know it works. And so it's not like a criticism of the popularization of it.

It's more like we need to have a bigger conversation. And I think a lot of common myths is like, okay, I'm gonna do these movements or this breathwork, and it's gonna get rid of my feelings. People are still approaching it unconsciously from I'm gonna do this to feel better. Yes, I'm gonna feel better as soon as I do this. And then they get really frustrated. Or it actually stirs something deeper up in them.

A: And then they don't feel better for a moment. They feel worse for a moment. Yes, they're like, oh, I'm finally listening to my body. My body's like, oh, and we have this and we have this and we have this. Oh, you're listening? Okay, I have some more to say. And so then people get confused. And then they go back to their survival patterns of like numbing or dissociating or avoiding or disconnecting or intellectualizing. And so I feel like there's the way I explain it is like there's stages of somatic healing.

And when you're kind of just fed all these different sound bites, you think like, okay, I'll just dive right into the deep stuff. Oh, I got to heal my trauma. I'm going to scream into a pillow. I'm gonna like, I got to feel my feelings. Okay, let me go feel the worst one. And then what often happens is our body's like, ah, I don't know what to do with that. Don't ever do that again.

That was horrible. Or we put our body into like a stress response to go, okay, I got to scream into a pillow. So my body learns I have to feel this intensity and then I actually collapse. Like I'm not actually feeling resolution. I'm just collapsing.

A: Right. Or we don't realize that we're going into a somatic practice already addicted to our own adrenaline already addicted to our own drama. And then the catharsis just becomes another thing that we're chasing. Right.

C: Yeah. People think somatic can think that somatic healing is actually just catharsis. You know, I see a lot of like ads on Instagram of like somatic healing retreat and it's a bunch of people screaming and crying and gyrating and convulsing. And it's like, oh, people think that that's what somatic healing is. And that very much reminds me of like my charismatic evangelical upbringing of like being slain in the spirit.

The pastor comes by you and puts his, you know, hand on your forehead and you're supposed to like faint and pass out and it becomes this like theatrics that it's like, okay, this is what I'm supposed to do.

A: Okay, right. Which is very different than it naturally arising as part of a bigger process.

C: Yes, it's like, okay, this is what it's supposed to look like. This is how I know that I'm healing is if I have this big cathartic thing. And even like my clients who come to work with me they're like, wow, like, you know, I thought it's supposed to look like this. And, you know, it's actually so much gentler or slower or there's like a lot more building that has to happen.

A: Or that an emotional release can feel good. Yeah, doesn't mean that it's doesn't mean that it isn't difficult or uncomfortable, but it was very surprising to me personally when I would experience like shame arising and dissipating from somewhere in my pelvis and I it felt good. It was like this weird thing. I was like, I feel this shame and I feel like where it I know where it's from. And yet even though it's shame which usually is yucky feeling, it feels good because it's like moving out and my body's like experiencing it in a way where it's releasing and not clenching me.

Yeah. So there's a lot that you know for emotional releasing that we tend to associate with like crying and hysterics and and sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's pleasurable, which we don't expect.

C: Yeah, I love that. And I think another myth, you know, aside from the okay, it has to be this big cathartic release is the whole goal is regulation, you know, we're here everywhere, nervous system regulation, which again, great, I'm glad we're talking about this happen.

Glad we're having this conversation. Nervous system regulation is important, but it is one piece of the whole scope. So if people are just thinking, I just have to regulate my nervous system. And what can happen is every time you feel an uncomfortable emotion, you just go into regulation, you never learn how to fully feel right emotion. And so one part of it is regulation, because if you have only experienced your body as this unsafe place, if your body has only known survival and stress responses and fear, and you're like, my body just feels like an unsafe place, regulation can become the experience where we go, Oh, I can actually feel safe in my body. What, there's actually things I can do with and for my body to help her feel safe and not afraid. Oh my gosh, I didn't even know that was a possibility. Oh my gosh, when things feel like when I feel like I'm going into that panic spiral, there are things I can do to like, bring myself back to safety and grounding.

That can be one of the most life changing experiences. Absolutely. Yeah. And the next piece, you know, there's regulation and safety building. And then the next piece is, okay, now expanding my somatic capacity to feel sensation.

A: Right. An intensity of sensation, because intensity is going to happen. Life is going to be intense sometimes. Yeah.

C: Can I, yeah, can I feel the full range of my human emotions? Because we're, regulation doesn't mean you never feel sad or stressed or overwhelmed. It's like, we're still human in here.

We're still going through this human life. So can I develop the capacity to be with those intense sensations and not be afraid of them to learn actually how to move with them instead of like you said, clenching up around them and tightening up around them. Can I even learn to like channel them? And this is a big part of my work. Can I channel them into expression?

Yeah. Use creativity to support myself in feeling some highly sensational emotions, both pleasurable and unpleasurable, because some people have a hard time feeling pleasure, the sensations that are pleasurable. And then the final stage or like the third stage is like the trauma resolution. If you're dealing with trauma, it's like, we have to be able to feel safe in our body, know that we can regulate when things, when we feel ourselves going into a survival response or we become emotionally hijacked, then we develop our capacity to feel more intense sensations, then we can start doing things like touching those trauma related emotions, allowing them to complete the cycle that they never were able to at the time of the trauma.

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A: And all of this is explaining exactly why I don't do one-off sessions. I mean, I do. We do, but we were describing a long-term substantial change in the way a person's not only nervous system, but their awareness is structured and it's a maturing. We're inviting them into a maturation process beyond wherever their development landed due to their upbringing. One of my mentors said, we tend to mature very haphazardly.

And it's like, yeah, this little part of us grows because it has to, and then this part doesn't because it doesn't have to. This part gets shut down and then hides away, and so much of somatic healing and then returning to wholeness is gathering those different pieces of ourselves that didn't get the attention they needed, that didn't get the expression they needed, and how can we start to become whole again? And that's not going to happen in three sessions. That's not going to happen in a 30-second shoulder shake. It's a process.

C: Yeah, I love the way you put that. It is a maturation and an integration of all these parts that weren't witnessed growing up, or they got stuck in that survival identity. And yeah, I love that word wholeness. It's like, can I come back to the wholeness of my human instead of living it with these very fragmented pieces? And the little things like shoulder shaking and breathwork, those are all tools that can support this process.

But like you said, there is this journey someone has to go on that's not a one and done set and forget. It's not a magic pill and at the same time, it's magical.

A: Oh, it's so magical. It's so magical. It's deep magic. It's deep, juicy magic. You want to spend time there. You want to explore it. It's not something you want a quickie, you know, because it is so magical.

C: Yes, it's so magical. It's not a magic pill. And yet the process is the most magical experience you will ever embark on on your life. I believe that with every cell in my body. I'm like, yeah, when you as a client choose to go on this journey, like you will fundamentally change the way you live your life. I used to, you know, before I got into somatic work, it was like, my whole perception of reality was through the lens of my mind and my thought.

And we take our thoughts at face value and we kind of believe everything that we think. And then within the two years of getting my graduate degree, you know, it was very experiential, very much like you apply this work to yourself. That was the height of my own anxiety, like the most anxious I'd ever been in my life. And by the end of those two years, I literally feel like my brain operated entirely differently. Like it will change your life.

A: Yeah, well, it'll change your neurochemistry and your neurological connections in your body, which is your life in so many ways. I mean, that would be like the hard science behind it. It's like your neurochemistry and your neural pathways that are firing in these habituated ways are creating the reality that you're perceiving.

Why is it that I keep meeting all these douchey guys? Why is it that this keep, you know, these things that we like are frustrated about in our lives, they are also somatic experiences that we are looping on and we don't realize that we're looping on them. You know, and I think like the mindset work was like this collective door opening into like, oh, you know, control your thoughts, control your life. And it's like, but what about, and this is a good question for you as another somatic facilitator, you know, sometimes I think my thoughts are coming from a somatic something that's happening that my brain is trying to make an explanation for.

So no, my thoughts are not creating like my emotions. Sometimes my emotions and my thoughts are arising from a physical sensation that I have not figured out what it means for me yet. And so there's this like creativity, right, that's happening. And I have to be careful not to get too deterministic when I'm in that space where I'm like trying to figure out what this sensation or feeling means for me, right, and let it sort of play out.

C: Yeah, oh my gosh, so much to say about this. Our brains are meaning making machines, like that's what they're designed to do. So say you walk outside and you kind of smell that pre rain smell, and you feel that kind of low wind. And your body is sensing these things. And your body senses it before your brain goes, Oh, I think it might rain. But it happened so immediately that we're like, which came first, the chicken or the egg. But like our body perceives things, feels things, senses things. And then our brain makes an interpretation, because that's the brain's job. And it's not that that's bad. It's like, Okay, yeah.

All right. So if I'm smelling that pre rain smell and I feel that wind, and then I look up into the sky, it's kind of gray, that means it might rain, maybe I should bring an umbrella. But what the brain can do this in overdrive, it can do this automatically. And then it can make negative meaning too. So it's like, we feel something in our body, maybe we're just like really tired. And then our brain goes, nothing in my life is working out.

And I just can't do it. And like, because our brain is trying to make meaning of what I'm sensing. And what I'm intercepting. So interception is the ability to perceive what's happening inside of your body. And so our brain makes an interpretation based on what we're intercepting, which often happens automatically. If we're just doing mind only work, we go, Well, that thought is true.

A: Because right, right. Or we try to like control our thoughts and plant thoughts, you know, which I love that, you know, I will often combine like affirmations or well, you know, my clients and I will come up with like this creative like way we can speak to ourselves. I think that has merit.

But it's not nearly as powerful as people imagine that it is, if they don't have that somatic connection and foundation to actually feel the resonance of those words feel whether their body can take them in and metabolize them, or whether they're sort of just like yelling down an empty hallway. Yes.

C: Yes, yes, yes. It's like someone looking in the mirror being like, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself. Like there's such an incongruence, like you're saying the things, but your body is not believing it.

A: Your body's like spinning it out as you're like forcing it.

C: Yeah, like speeding something to a baby and like your body's like, No, I don't believe this.

A: That's a safe that feels icky. Stop it. Yeah. Yeah.

C: So it's getting our body on board with the things that we want to believe and having our body believe them too. Yeah. Yeah.

A: No, I'm right there with you on this. I have some questions for you, kind of about the way you do things in your approach, because I do somatic work as well, but it's like a different modality. It's a different way of doing things. And I would love to know some things about when you're working with someone, and this is kind of like talking about these different types of people that might be out there. Someone who maybe is coming to you who's very like locked up, who's not very expressive and they're coming to you because they need to be more expressed.

Right. How do you kind of kind of ease someone who's very, you know, embarrassed or ashamed or, you know, you're, they're not going to come in and be like a theater kid with you and ready to just play out all the things, right. How do you ease someone like that into this work? Yeah.

C: And this is so common. This is very, very common in people that I work with. And so first of all, it's, and I saw that you interviewed David Bedrick and so I'm going to pull from some of David Bedrick's language and I'm just obsessed with him. It's a lot of it is unshaming the locked upness. You know, like what, how has that served you? How has that been protecting you?

Because a lot of people go, I'm so locked up. I'm so rigid. What's wrong with me? I just need to be more expressive and I just wish I could be more free.

Why do I get so embarrassed? And so first of all, it's like, okay, let's look at this. What's here right now? Mm hmm. Okay, how is that embarrassment or that locked upness or that frozenness? Like, how are you experiencing that?

What is that like? Like, what is happening in your body even if what's happening is numbness? What's numbness like? What's numbness like?

And instead of putting the blow dryer to the block of ice and saying, thaw, feel, like, okay, how do we turn on the body's natural ability to thaw the frozenness? Mm hmm. If the theater kid land, their body might again, spit it out and be like, no, hate that. So it's how do I just turn, turn on the ability to feel and sense and it often starts with more neutral sensation. Mm hmm. What's it like to feel the temperature of my hands against each other or my fingers on my cheek?

A: I was thinking self touch would be such a great part of it. Yeah.

C: Yeah, like staying on the periphery of the body, I say on the exterior before we get really internal, which is where a lot of like the highly charged emotional sensation is. So how can we just engage with our body in a neutral way and start building this new relationship with our body where my body's not this means to an end. It's not this thing I have to lug around. It's like this person. And it's like, oh, wow, okay, what's it like to just like tap, tap on my palms? You know, like what can I start turning on to just being a feeling body?

A: Like waking up the system, waking up the sensory awareness. Yeah. And unshaming what comes up when you're sensing in. Absolutely.

C: Because even sometimes the waking up process, it's like you realize you've been in this fog and sometimes there's grief of like, I've lived my whole life like this or like, I'm just so frustrated that it's this hard.

A: I've missed opportunities for things because of this. Yeah, the grief. Yeah. The sorrow and the frustration. Yes.

C: And so then instead of going to express and joyful and liberated, let's, okay, let's be with the grief or the sorrow or the frustration, like, can we be with that?

Can we build our capacity to be without without judging or intellectualizing, like just letting the energy in motion, the emotion begin to move in a different way. And sometimes it's really subtle. That movement is very subtle. Sometimes it's just in the hands. Sometimes it's even just rocking a little.

Rocking or tracking the sensation or or there's imagery that comes up around it. And so now I'm relating to this frustration through the lens of creativity instead of like, oh, why am I I'm frustrated that I'm frustrated. And then we can start to like, okay, we're starting the thought and now we're, we're getting into this realm of I can be with my feelings a little bit more and now I'm, I'm, I'm awake a little bit more. And I'm like, I'm feeling again. And sometimes we have to move through, you know, if we're, if we're feeling numb, we have to move through like some mobilization, some fight or flight. So there may be like anxiety that comes up. Mm hmm. Like, oh my gosh, there's a lot of feelings here.

A: Wanting to kind of run, right? That that that that because that's waking things up from numbness. And now you're experiencing the anxiety that was underneath the numbness. Yes.

C: So there's like layers, there's layers and it's, especially as a facilitator of somatic work, sometimes people can go, Oh my God, am I doing something wrong?

A: Mm hmm. You know, oh God, I want to get it right. They want to they want to see that it's working, but they're doing it right. Yeah.

C: Yeah. Oh, I'm they're supposed to feel better. I'm supposed to help them own. Like, why is this coming up? And should I have said this? And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, like this is the body's process. Can you partner with someone's body as their body is going through this maturation? And through this, these layers, until it finally feels safe to experience the things like joy, because joy is hella vulnerable.

A: Mm hmm. Yeah, joy is a very deep letting go. Yeah. It's a surrendering, you know, that can feel very intense when we're not used to letting go of that control, right? Control as often, you know, so much of my personal anxiety has come from trying to control all kinds of things in my life. That aren't controllable. And joy comes from that feeling of surrendering to what is right. And so that you're speaking it, it can be very vulnerable to drop out of the anxiety and into a place of preciousness with what is. Yeah.

C: Mm. Mike drop. Boom. That. Yeah. Because I mean, when I imagine that the person who learned that they needed to numb themselves, I imagine that there was times in their lives where they felt joy and they were met with shame, or they felt joy and someone ripped the rug out from underneath them. And their body learned. Don't you ever lose control like that again.

You better be able to predict the bad thing that's going to happen. If you let yourself feel joy, then you're not on watch. So make sure it's like we'd rather anticipate pain than let ourselves feel joy and be caught off guard by pain. Right. Yeah. So we'd rather just kind of create our own predictable pain by not letting ourselves feel joy.

A: Yeah, it's a it's such a human trap. It really is. And you know, it explains why there's just a lot of people kind of, you know, not and people realize this about themselves. They might even have language for it where they're not living their potential where they're not satisfied or happy with their life, It's an illusion, but they're holding it so tightly. And that's what's in the way of their being able to let life in.

C: Yeah, so beautifully said. It's a perceived safety versus a true safety.

A: It's a protective safety. Let's talk about that for a minute. What would we describe as like a true somatic safety?

C: True safety is the ability. It's like feeling safe to feel safe, meaning safety without the walls up. People think I'm safe when the walls are up. I'm safe when I have control. I'm safe when I can predict things. I'm safe when I have certainty.

A: When I keep out negative experiences.

C: Yes, when I when I can be away from all of my triggers when everyone can be doing the things that I want them to be doing when things are going the way that I want them to be going then I'll know I'm safe when I have the job that everyone says I should have when I have the perfect relationship like then I'll know I'm safe when like all these external things are perfectly in place versus this inner safety that even if things around me are not going to be safe. I'm not going the way that I hoped or that I want even if I don't have control.

I feel safe in the home of my own body. Yeah. And of course there is a you know an actual physical external element like if we're in a traumatic situation of course our body is going to go into a survival response but Right, right.

A: And that's important here. Let's like segue into that for a second because I think this is also like another myth like sometimes I will have clients come to me and they will describe their work situation and their work environment. And it's like, oh, they've let go of four people and they've given you three times the amount of work and they have not raised your pay.

And you're wondering what we can do so that you can still be really good at your job and not experience stress and I'm like, well, there's the fact here that you're being exploited. And we can't change that in your you know it's like I'm not here to help your nervous system feel okay with being exploited. Like, I understand you want to find ways to cope and we will absolutely do that.

But we're also going to have to address that your like actual person hood and boundaries are being infringed upon and why you're feeling so stressed and overwhelmed is because that's not okay. That's not okay for you. That's not okay for anybody.

And we can't trick your nervous system into thinking this is okay. You know, so that's when kind of going back to that this will change your life in a bunch of different ways, because things that were okay as you start healing are not going to be okay anymore. Yes.

C: And sometimes safety looks like I am attuned enough to my body to be able to advocate for what for the changes that need to be made in my external environment to support the safety that I'm trying to build in my life. Yes.

Yes. I want like it's like an inner and outer thing like okay as I'm building the inner capacity the inner safety. Suddenly it's like okay, how does that start impacting my outer world. Are there different choices I need to make do is there boundaries that need to be set is there a change and external change that I need to advocate for which is then going to, you know, feedback to my inner world that like, wow, I have choice. I have agency.

I am safe. And I can advocate and get out of a situation that is exploitative for me is abusive for me. And so there then becomes this compound effect that like my internal world affects my external world, my external world supports my internal world. And it just like keeps snowballing in a really good way.

A: In a really good way. Yeah. In a brilliant way. But sometimes it's like legitimately scary. Yes. It's outside of what you have previously. It's outside that previously perceived safety. It's outside that like, you know, picture of how you thought your life would go. And your life going this way.

And you're like, whoa, okay, you know, and there's a lot that, you know, people go through there in terms of, you know, I've had clients, you know, they come to me because they're having panic attacks, they don't know why they've been doing all these things that are that are that we do start doing the semantics and they're like, I have to quit my job.

And I have to rearrange my whole life to not have that job anymore. You know, like that's happened, because they realize it's something in their external world that is, you know, the catalyst for this. Yes, there's the underlying things that are going on in their nervous system that allowed this job or this relationship to exist in the first place. But as they're healing from it, they have to let go of some of these things because it's no longer supporting them. And that's why their body's screaming.

C: Yeah, yeah, you get to this place where, okay, you look at these patterns that it's like, okay, where have I learned that I don't deserve love and respect. Whereas my body learned that, you know, being treated this way is normal and safe and from really familiar and familiar as predictable and predictable feels safe.

So we then start unraveling those patterns and then suddenly we go, Oh my God, I see myself. I love myself. I value myself. I see my personhood. And then because of that, I go, Why would I want to continue to put myself in situations that are harming me?

A: Right. Yeah. And it, you know, it's, it's very, I mean, I'm sure there's certain people listening to this right now who can relate and they're like, I gotta quit my job, right? But what I want to say is like, things can shift when you are calling in, you know, something that maybe has been needing to shift for a long time and you're finally getting to that point where your body's screaming about it in some form.

And then you take the leap you, you know, you know, hire a facilitator, you actually open up that box. Like the one client I'm talking about specifically like last summer, within we were working together for like a two month program. Within that two month program, she quit her job. She found another dream job that was run completely differently. And by the time of the two months that we ended together, she was in a completely different career doing something that was like basically one of her dreams.

And it all happened because I sat across from her the first day and she was describing it to me and I said, this sounds very toxic and exploitive. And it was like a light bulb went off for her. It was like, oh my God, she, you know, she needed that validation. She needed someone to validate the reality that she was perceiving all the time. And basically, you know, say the truth of what was happening for her to find that courage to just like stand up and say, no, you know, and it was a slow fate. First it started with her basically being like to her boss, I'm not doing all these other extra things. You've given me a project.

I'm doing the project I'm doing and creating some of those boundaries. Right. And by the time she left that job, the feedback from like the other people was like, you created all this really positive change here before you left by calling it out and not putting up with bullshit. Wow.

And so I'm over here like, I can't take credit for all this. Obviously, she's in a powerful person. But you know, being that container for her navigation and her process to occur for me to sit across from her and validate her experience and say you deserve more. Let's release what your body's holding that has you saying yes to things that you're actually saying no to.

C: Oh, queen, both of you. Ah, yes. Yes. And it's not like, oh, once I realized my job is talks, they go, Oh, gosh, I have to quit right now. It's yeah, sometimes it's okay. Where can I set boundaries as I'm looking for a different job.

A: Yes. And checking with what really resonates with me. What's really, you know, and it's funny, this this client, she's got such a great big energy. She's like a very specific kind of person that would do all this in two months, you know, I think of her as her energy is like golden retriever energy, like she's so like excitable and like fun. So then maybe this is my other question.

It's like the other side of what we were talking about before. When you have someone who comes to you who like can't stop moving, right, who's very up regulated in their system. How do you work with that to help that person find balance like we got the locked up person now we're on the other end. Things you do to help people who have that really frenetic over the top energy, find a little more peace in their body.

C: Yeah, I love that question. Yeah, it's always about like meeting people where they're at being the mirror, because some people, the people who live in a constant like, huh, frantic like urgent, very like up regulated fighter flight kind of energy they most the time they don't realize they're that way. They're not super aware they're like, oh yeah, I'm an anxious person. But they don't really realize because they're so it's been how they've been their whole life usually right.

Yeah. And so it's first of all helping them build that awareness of like, what happens when we like just become aware of like how much energy you're exerting. What is that like? What does that feel like? And then suddenly they're like, I'm fucking exhausted.

I can't stop. And so yeah, it's meeting them where they're at being the mirror helping them really see, understand that survival identity that they've had to take on that if I stop, if I stop my life will fall apart. That's usually the fear. If I stop thinking about everything if I stop doing things if I stop controlling if I stop achieving if I stop doing everything is going to fall apart.

And it's usually you know, like the child who kind of had to keep a very chaotic family all together had to like was very parentified and it's like, no one's going to catch me. Right.

A: And so it's it's that again, slow gradual process of what happens if we take the super quick energy and just slow it down half a tempo. Just add a little bit like slower breath. What's that like? How's that feeling your body? Okay, what happens if we take the kind of buzzing and turning it into a rhythm, turning it into a sway, you can still move, but happen what happens if we move in new ways and we're teaching your body new ways of feeling safe without ripping away. Like you said, the familiar survival and protective identities.

It's like, okay, I first have to dip my toes in this other way of being in my body and feeling that like I can breathe for a second. And am I safe? Is there a threat in this moment? Oh God, no, actually, there's not a threat in this moment. Maybe you take one more slower breath, just one more. Right. It's not like, and now we're going to sit still for 10 minutes. That does not work. Like silent meditation.

It does not work for highly anxious people because their brain is like, and they're like this is torture. Yeah. Yeah.

And so it's like, okay, moment by moment. Can I just be with myself? Slow down? Am I okay? Is the world collapsing around me? No. Okay, can you take another moment? Right. And it's just building on that. Beautiful.

A: Yeah, yeah, I can really almost like see how this can play out within like a, within a session in which you're inviting them into, you know, full body movements and, you know, maybe playing with like the music or the tempo or, you know, it sounds like it's just a such a beautiful process that you guide people through and there's a lot of delicacy that I'm picking up on here.

Like it's a really like fine tuned kind of thing where it's a moment to moment switching of gears, you know, changing of the, the amounts of, you know, power or intensity and then, you know, kind of like the for some reason I'm getting the sense of, you know, when you really know how to pet a cat. And you can kind of like feel like, oh, she's starting to lean into my hand and then you like, you know, give her a little bit of a scratch behind the ear and then you feel her just slightly lean away and you're like, oh, if I keep it that she's going to bite me. Maybe, okay, now it's time to move down her back like that responsiveness.

C: Right. I love that analogy so much. Yeah, it is. It really is all about kinesthetic attunement. How attuned can you be to someone's body which requires a lot of presence and presence of attunement like their skills that you have to build and so I had a shower thought the other day that good therapy is actually a lot more like improv than it is therapy. Yep, truth. Right.

So like, okay, more. First of all, theater kid here. So this is where this is coming from who did improv. So first of all, if you go into an improv scene, there's no structure. There's no prompt. Neither of them have any skills. You're going to feel lost AF.

Both of you are going to be like, what are we doing here? But so you do need to have some skill. You do need to have like, okay, this is the kind of skit we're doing. This is the, this is the prompt. So the facilitator comes in, they have skill to know how to develop a scene. But you have to be so attuned to your scene partner because you don't, it's not a script you've written ahead of time.

A: You don't know where they're going until they go there. Yeah.

C: And a lot of therapists like, okay, I have to follow the script. I have to follow the steps. I have to follow the perfect protocol. Oh God, you're not following.

This is where we're supposed to go next. And so it's, can I attune to my scene partner? Be really present with them. It's a very yes and and so you're not letting them totally lead the scene to where you're just like, you don't matter. You disappear and then your scene partners holding all the weight and you're not being the star of the show where your scene partner never gets a word in because you're going to direct the whole scene. It really is this co-creation. I've got to attune to you and the facilitator has to really trust themselves.

Yes. You can't be all up in your head thinking, what's the next thing I should say? What are they going to say next?

So I can prepare the next thing that I'm going to say and what if I, what if I say the wrong thing and what if what I say is not going to be funny and like you've got to really trust yourself and be in your own body. The naturalness. Right.

Yeah. And you can't be afraid of taking a risk sometime. Like, okay, I'm intuitively feeling like we're going to go this way and you put it out there and you see how your scene partner responds knowing that you can pivot, but you've got to take a risk and you've got to trust yourself and you've got to be really attuned and in the scene with your partner.

A: I love that analogy. That's so true. I, I not, I had not really formed it out that way, but you know, this intuitive space of like taking that risk, like you said, you know, you're picking up on something and you know, sometimes it's the contrast that they need. Sometimes it's me saying something that doesn't land fully and then they go, this is what it is. Yeah. Because they had some contrast, you know, and so like, I, you know, early on I was like, well, if I say something that doesn't land, but I create a safe, safe enough space for them to tell me that that doesn't land.

Now we have that contrast that shows them where they do land and that's super valuable too. Right. So as long as I have that openness and that awareness and that space of safety, there is no wrong thing to say. There's only the thing that's going to lead them to where they're going in any way or where they are. Yeah.

C: And that feedback, I always say to our students that we train, it's just information. Yeah. Because people are so afraid of what if my client's resistant, you know, like, how do you deal with resistant clients? How to get past resistance?

It's like, there no, or their resistance is information for you as a facilitator of where they're at in relationship with their body. Yes. So if there's resistance, you don't need to push past it, you need to meet them there, you pivot the scene. Right.

A: You be there and you respect the fuck out of their resistance. That's what I do personally. But you know what I do is very much like body work too. So it's like I'm in this very intimate space where I'm touching someone.

And so for me, if there's a resistance coming up, like I'm like, beautiful, let's meet this resistance, let's honor this resistance. It's here for a reason, right? What is it trying to say?

Yes. What is it trying to do? How does this resistance want you to move? Right? And let's follow it instead of trying to change it or make it different than it is, you know, because that's where so much magic happens is when we instead of pushing past some blockage, we lean in and go, tell me more.

C: Yes. The resistance is always the doorway to the real work. Yes. People think, well, I need to get past this resistance so that I can push myself into the real work. It's like, no, you get to know that resistance, become best friends with it, build trust with it, become curious about it, because that resistance is going to tell you a lot.

A: Oh, it's yeah, it's where half of your power is, I would say, is in your ability to know. You know, it's not, we don't just, we don't just need to say yes to life and yes to the process and yes to life. It's important to us to feel that agency of saying no. And that is what resistance is. Resistance is the no that we didn't get to say at some point in our lives.

C: Yeah. No, don't touch me like that. And so, yeah, our resistance is, ah, there's something about this that doesn't yet feel safe or okay. And so it's like, okay, how can we, again, become curious about that? What is this resistance afraid of? What is it trying to protect you from? How can we honor the resistance versus you need to get out of my way? So that because that's, that's often what happened to our inner child is like, you can't say no, you're like, you have no control. And so that resistance is often the protective part of us that says, no, no, no, don't go there. It's painful. Ah, and so we want to, we want to go at the pace of the body.

A: 100%. Yeah. Wow, this has just been such a beautiful conversation. I'm very amped on your work. I want to learn more. And I also want people to know where they can find you if they want to learn more. Do you I mean, you got these polls behind you, it looks like you're in some sort of space where you work like, do you have a studio, do you have a home studio, do you work with people online as well as in person, tell us like about more about your business and how people can work with you.

C: Yeah, the polls are, this is my office. So yeah, I pull dance. And so the poll, I live in a very small town where there's obviously no poll studios, so sometimes I have friends come over.

So that's why there's two polls. But all of my work is online. We do have an in person retreat coming up in September.

But all of my work is online. You can find me at www.healingandbody .com forward slash connect. We have a year long accredited somatic certification program. So we train other wellness professionals, body workers, therapists, coaches to do like this very deep, ethical, effective, tuned, creative, expressive somatic work.

We also work with clients directly. We have a program called Holy Human W H O L Y coming integrating the wholeness these parts that you learn to like, I can't feel that or I'm not allowed to bring that forth. And then we work with creatives, leaders, healers and entrepreneurs to help them get really clear on their purpose from a somatic perspective instead of like, what's the thing I'm supposed to do? It's like, okay, let's let that path unfold from your body. And the more you know yourself, the more you get clear on what you want to do this life. And so we help leaders, creatives, healers get really clear on how they want to impact the world. So we're everywhere online, Instagram at healing dot embodied anywhere you look, we're going to be somewhere on the internet.

A: I love it. Definitely anybody listening who's resonating with all of this, who feels like any of the above just mentioned suits you. Check out the show notes will have Chelsea's links and information there for you to learn more about all of these incredible projects that you are orchestrating and providing for people. So thank you so much for coming on the show today for this incredibly fun delicious conversation. And can't wait to have another conversation with you, honestly.

C: Thank you so, so much. This was awesome. Thank you.

A: Hey there friends, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Follow me on Instagram @AimeeTakaya and send me a DM about this episode. I'd like to thank you for being part of this somatic revolution.

And if you'd like to support the podcast and help more people learn about somatics, consider leaving a review or a rating. And finally, if you'd like to have the experience of relief in your tight hips or back and learn to understand what your body is really saying to you, visit you can free your soma.com. I can't wait to share with you what is truly possible. Bye for now.