Our conscious mind rules. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's what allows for living in the flow and being adaptable without having to "think" about it or do everything consciously.
Our unconscious mind, our body intelligence, KEEPS THE SCORE. It remembers every event and attempt to keep us safe from past pain by influencing our behavior in the NOW.
When we want to grow and find ourselves stuck or limited by our perspective, habits and behaviors we may begin to wonder, "What's holding me back?"
Ana Robles shares her expertise in the realm NLP and ways in which we can reprogram our subconscious mind/body to live more freely, successfully and dynamically.
Together we explore:
-Her story and how she came to practice NLP
-The Intersection of Somatics and NLP
-What's timeline therapy?
-The Importance of Communication and Language
-Being Mentally Strong and Flexible
-Being able to LET GO
and so much more!
Connect with Ana on IG @yo_soy_amazing or on her website www.yosoyamazing.com
Ana is an expert in the science of mindset, success in business and in life. Coaching business professionals, individuals to grow and maximize their strengths and reach their full potential and achieve the results they have dreamed of. Working in group and individual one on one settings she dives into finding the harmony of career, entrepreneurship and life. Improving relationships, clarify their goals and dreams, work more effectively as well as increasing their bottom line and profitability.
Ana knows first-hand what is like to be struggling and pretending everything is ok. She found the courage to dream again and redefine herself. She knows what it takes to dig deep and master the self-talk, shift her limitations to create and design the life she always dreamed of. Through these experiences she found purpose in life and passion to help others to dream again and give hope.
Ana is a highly trained and experienced NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer; Ana is able to do just help one person at a time be the best version of themselves. She understands what you are going through, where you are and how effortlessly YOU can shift into action to create your AMAZING and step into your excellence.
A: Hello and welcome to Free Your Soma, Stories of Somatic Awakening and How to Live from the Inside Out. I have a wonderful guest with me today, Anna Robles. She is a business coach and an NLP trainer. She works with business owners or any person in leadership. She brings them clarity, systems, strategy and a clear, concise path to get where they are going. She has been practicing NLP since 2018. When I asked her what did NLP do for you, how did it change your life, she answered that it helped her experience having a belief in herself that she can do anything, that anything is possible. This is what she helps you to discover and experience in your daily life and in your business. I have to say that is so exciting. That is so wonderful because really the possibilities at every single moment are available to us. It is about whether or not we are able to really be aware of that and witness that anything is possible in our lives, in our bodies. I love that message. I think it is really powerful and it speaks to me personally. Welcome. Thank you so much for being here today, Anna.
AR: Amy, thank you so much for having me here. I am blessed to be in your presence. I always love being around you.
A: Awesome. Yes, same, same. We got to experience each other's work a little bit earlier this year, which was really, really wonderful. We had an event together because I think that somatic movement and NLP, and I am not the only person out there who thinks this, they actually go pretty hand in hand because they are really similar, but slightly different pathways to get to the same kind of experience of liberation in our being. Would you share a little bit about how you got started in this? Absolutely.
AR: The reality is that my story goes back to when I was in high school. I wanted to be a psychologist. I remember being part of the peer counseling group and helping my fellow peers. I fell in love with psychology. At the same time, I was in love with numbers. When I graduated high school, I was still torn. Do I go psychology? Do I go business? Somehow, my path led to business. I went to school. I worked for a company for 15 years. I remember very specific, and I didn't know anything about personal or self-development at that time. I just realized that my thoughts were coming to fruition. I didn't know this is before the secret even came out or anything like that. I remember specifically, and I remember the moment, and I started thinking, what else do I want? What do I want in my life? I don't want to just be an employee. Then the next thing that happened, my boss says, hey, I retire. We cannot longer afford your salary. I'm like, oh, okay, what am I going to do? It was a time for me to start digging deep inside of me, and that's when I was introduced to self-development. I started reading books, attending seminars, and then I went back to corporate America. I found another job, which I loved, and I worked there for another 15 years. I had my own department. I was leading a group of employees. I was in charge of different aspects of my department. I created shipping, receiving customer service. It was basically running my own business. Again, thoughts started coming back. Thoughts started to come back. It's like, what do you want to do with your life? What else can you do? By this time, I was aware of how our thoughts shape our future, what we think we create. I just didn't know how deep that was. During that time, when I started thinking that, because whatever we think we create, our mind is going to support our thoughts. Somehow, I ended up in a different part of the company. I ended up in a toxic environment. It's like, no, I need to get out of here. This is not helping me. What am I going to do? I left trying to figure out what I was going to do. I came across NLP by accident, complete accident. I thought I was going to go there and learn about networking, because all of my life, I've been someone else's employee. I didn't have to promote myself. I didn't have to do any of that. Now, I was going to start a business. I needed to learn about networking. I showed up to this event, and I'm listening to the speaker, and she's talking and talking. I'm like, that's me. I want more of that. I signed up for one of her events. At one of her events, she's talking about NLP. I'm like, oh, I want that. I started taking the NLP classes, and I started to see I was changing. I still didn't know where I was going. I just knew that I was changing. There was a difference in my belief. Things were being brought up from my unconscious to my conscious mind, and I was dealing with those things, and it was shifting me. That's where NLP really started, that seed. Then when I go back, I was like, oh my gosh, I planted that seed back in high school that I wanted to do something with psychology. In reality, NLP is derived from psychology. I'm doing what I always wanted to do 30 some years later, and I'm helping people with their mindset using tools that are based on psychology. Yes.
A: Yes. That's awesome. I love it when we can retrospectively look back and go, oh, this was going on the whole time. We ran into each other last night. I was on a podcast. You were also on. We ran into each other. Really cute. I love it. Now we're on a podcast together today. I told them last night, they asked me this question of when did I decide to become an entrepreneur? I had been thinking, oh, this business I've started has just been a year, but then when I really thought about it, I was like, oh no, this started when I quit my corporate job, when I was 23 working for a company, and I started teaching yoga. I became an entrepreneur then, but we don't always see it in the moment. We take some minutes to look back over the timeline and go, oh, actually all of this began a long, long time ago. We can keep going down that rabbit hole. What's been really amazing about learning about NLP, because I had heard about it over the last decade or so, but it was sort of this, I don't know, it seemed like a technology that people like Tony Robbins or certain famous people use, but it didn't really seem like something that was just easily accessible to someone like me. Maybe that was just my lifestyle. But I feel like in the last few years, I've been learning about it more and more. When I met you, and I heard that you work the way that you work, what you work with, with mindset and with helping people create more possibility and feel how amazing they already are, I was like, oh wow, this is so beautiful, because I can see how this is kind of similar to the work that I do with semantics, but you're working on a different layer of our consciousness to get at the same thing. And so I was really thrilled when you reached out to me and we started creating kind of a collaboration together, because I think that there's something really powerful about hitting it from all angles. And I also love that in your story, you were already someone who had experienced a fair amount of success, but you experienced it kind of like through the vehicle of someone else's business or from someone else's approval, like getting that promotion or that raise, like getting paid by someone else to perform duties and run things and create things. But what a beautiful thing that discovering NLP and deciding to be your own business for the first time in your life, it seems like those things kind of happened together.
AR: They did. And I wholeheartedly believe that nothing in life happens out of coincidence. Everything, everything that we do is a choice. And we already have this path, this journey, and it's up to us to choose which way we're going, which way we're going to go. And at the same time, whether we go left or right, we always somehow end up in the same spot that we were meant to. Just the lessons that we take. So I know that I always wanted to be my own. I wanted to be in business. I remember hearing my parents talk about we're going to go back because we came from Mexico when I was little, I would hear them say, we're going to go back and we're going to open up a business. So in my mind, that was already like being instilled in me. That was like that little seed that was dropped. I just didn't know how and when that was going to happen. But the seed was already there.
A: Right. And then there's a certain level of sophistication that you've created now because you're blending, like you said, psychology with business, that they're not like two separate subjects that are not connected to one another. I'm like, they're totally connected to each other. And I think this is a really like innovative and exciting way to talk about these things because I think it helps people understand like, why is it that my business is not succeeding? Why is it that I'm running up against the same blocks and the same like problems over and over again? Oh, well, if we, you know, just look at it from a business strategy standpoint, we might be missing like this whole piece, which is like, you're a human and you have a life history and you have beliefs and thoughts and feelings that are constantly influencing your behavior, your decisions. Right. Can you talk a little bit about that, about how these things, these experiences in our lives, like influence our choices and behavior? Absolutely.
AR: So when we are born, when we are born into this world, we come as a clean slate. We are fearless. We are, we could do anything we want. And it's as we're growing, we start adopting the beliefs of people around us, the significant, the significant people in our lives. We start adopting those things or we start adopting the things that are going into our, in our environment. And unconsciously, that's becoming some kind of program that is running in the back of our back of our mind all the time, because what it's doing is protecting us, it's keeping us safe. So what it does is like, no, don't do that because this is, this could happen to you. So unconsciously, we may not go door knocking, you know, if we need to, because, oh, no, what if they open the door and what if they're rude to me? What about this? What about that? Or we don't pick up the phone call. Well, they're going to say no. So why bother calling them? So we have that in, you know, in, in the back of our mind, all those beliefs that are there, that were created at some point. And because they happen at such an early age or state, state in our life, we don't recall them. They're there. So with what I do, and I know with what you do is we bring up awareness and then we bring them out and, and then we work through them. We take what we need to learn, what's serviced and what doesn't. And we get to reprogram that picture because everything that we do is a picture that is stored in our mind. And that picture has an emotion attached to it. So our unconscious mind is going to say, nope, here's this picture that proves that that's not going to work. So don't do it because that's not going to, you know, that's not going to help you get to where you want to go. Or no, that's too dangerous. It's always looking for the dangers to protect us. And it's when we actually push through it and we go get to the other side. We're like, oh my gosh, I just did it. It's almost like we're on this race and you just ran like a mile and you did it in your best time and you pushed through your push through and you're like, oh my gosh, I just did it. That's the same thing that happens when we push through our beliefs. Right.
A: And then that getting to the other side piece that, you know, that's I think what everybody wants eventually, right? Like want to get to the other side, but there's a process of going through it. As you said, and it doesn't just happen instantly. It happens in a moment when it happens that we're on the other side of that experience. But like when I, you know, what I got to experience with you and was specifically timeline therapy, which was really interesting because I had my eyes closed, but you were having me orient myself to my past and my future in my mind's eye, like where it was in directions, you know, and had an orienting me into like kind of a creating a map internally of where I felt like my past and my present and my future were, which I thought was super fascinating because I'd never done anything like that before. But taking me through these, you know, timelines of different emotions, like when was the first time that I experienced this feeling? And it was fascinating because what I found was that there wasn't just like sometimes there was like a specific moment that like came up. But a lot of times it was like, all of a sudden this catalog, like my whole life just got opened up and I'm like flipping pages, looking through every moment that I have felt these things, right? To try to find when was the first time, right? And it was, it was quite amazing because. Like I feel like that was really direct versus there are other methods and other ways that I feel like people are sometimes trying to accomplish the same thing that take a lot more time. But this felt like it was very direct. And I think the biggest thing that would have gotten in the way, and maybe you can say like what gets in the way of people like being able to be successful with NLP, right? But the thing that, you know, would get in the way would be like my, like not allowing my mind to just go where it needed to go. Like having some sense of trying to control my thoughts or control the experience I was having. I think that was like for me, the thing that would mostly get in the way of that experience. But maybe you can tell our listeners, you know, if people have heard about NLP, who is like someone who gets the most out of NLP and who is someone who might have difficulty like getting the most out of this technique?
AR: So first of all, any time that we want to better ourselves, we have a choice. And the work that we, the work that you do in any type of modality, somatics, yoga, meditation, Reiki, there, what we have to do is learn to let go. So whether you're a successful business owner, whether you're a teacher, whether you are a housewife, a student, this could work for you. The thing that we all get to choose to is, am I willing to let go and allow my unconscious mind to come up and show me the lessons for me to learn and move forward and take those lessons now that my unconscious mind knows and reprogram my life with those positive lessons because we're looking for the positive learnings. We're looking for what is going to make us stronger. And a lot of I do find I do find people that are resistance and there the resistance is at the end of the day, it's about trusting. Do you trust yourself enough to want to know the answer?
A: Yeah, yeah, because sometimes we don't want to know the answer. We think we do. And then we get close to it and we're like, oh, I'd rather just maintain some level of obliviousness. Right. Yeah.
AR: So it's that resistance that we put on ourselves. Like, no, I don't want to go. It's like when we go swimming. The first thing they teach you to do is to float. And what do we have to do in order to float? We have to let go of control. We have to relax so our body is weightless. Because once we are controlling ourselves, what do we do? We put resistance. We become heavy. And when you become heavy, what are you going to do? You're going to end up at the bottom of the pool.
A: Right, right. Yeah, that's I love that analogy. That's really perfect because yeah, that is that's the way to save your life when, you know, you become exhausted in the water is to like roll onto your back and float. Right. Because otherwise your doggy paddling or whatever it is swimming the whole time, your body is going to get exhausted. And so surrendering, letting go, it makes me think of like how, you know, some people I've heard like complain about how we spend like a third of our lives asleep. You know, like why we have to sleep so much, you know. And it's like, oh, but like, isn't that really important? Isn't that like surrender time really beneficial? Like what happens when we don't sleep enough? Like it has an impact on our body and we don't regenerate ourselves and like all these things. And so the surrendering that you're talking about, you know, mentally, especially, especially if you have like a really active mind, being able to surrender and allow your unconscious mind to take over, right? And then you can start to see like how it actually is running the show most of the time. Would you say a little bit about that? Would you talk a little bit about our unconscious mind?
AR: You know, our unconscious mind actually has a blueprint of our body. It has a blueprint of our mind. It has a blueprint of everything because right now, who is the one that's controlling your breathing? Who's the one that's controlling the blood flowing through your body? Who's controlling you speaking or moving? It's your unconscious mind because if I were to do it consciously, I wouldn't be able to say lungs breathe, speak, you know, blood flow. I would go crazy. I wouldn't be able to have a conversation with you because I'd be thinking, I have to, in order for me to be talking and be in front of Amy and in front of our audience, I have to make sure I'm breathing and I'm talking, my blood is flowing. That's all happening at a such an unconscious level. Our mind, so our unconscious mind has a blueprint of everything in our body, our cells, how we think. It stores everything that happens in our life. It creates a picture and stores it. Don't believe me? Ask yourself to think of a blue tree. What do you have to do? You have to pull up the color blue first, then you have to pull, now then you could pull a picture or a tree and now you're like, okay, now make the tree blue. Everything is stored in it as an image. So everything in our unconscious mind is already there. We just don't give it permission. Our conscious mind says, no, no, I got everything. I'm in control. I'm doing this. It's really your unconscious mind just kind of sitting back there like, you think so? Okay, I got it. I'll just let you pretend you could do it. When you need me, I'll be right here. Yeah. If it does, it's like, oh, it's protecting you because it only knows what you allow it to know. And then it starts to protect you.
A: Yeah, you know, that what you just said about the blue tree, it made me realize like, we think we have to do things intentionally and we think that like, you know, we're somehow in charge of what we're experiencing, right? But most of the time, you know, you didn't even have to tell me to think about a blue tree. You could just start describing a blue tree and it would appear in my mind. Without any specific command, you know, like our environment and the things that are influencing us and creating those unconscious beliefs, they're happening like around us, like real time, you know what I mean? And probably for the most part, like kind of like you said before, the beliefs are already there, like from our early childhood experiences, right? And this is where the psychology piece comes in a little deeper. It's like most of the time, those big core beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of started a long, long time ago. And then every other experience that's happening is just reinforcing that programming, reinforcing that belief because we're unconsciously allowing that to continue. And that's where you're stepping in with NLP and you're saying, actually, we can reprogram that, we can take, as you said before, the learnings, the things that were learned from that experience that are part of you already, that are part of your power and your resiliency, we can take that and let that be the guiding force rather than the fear.
AR: Absolutely, completely. And we get to get curious and one of the things that I do with my clients is, I don't just use timeline therapy, I use many different techniques. And so I want to get to the bottom of what it is that's holding them back. How specifically? And it could be one thing, it could be many different things. I don't know, every person is very unique. And I want to go back to where that belief came and then what the root of that belief came. Because there's a root, I said, there's a root for the beliefs that we have. Which one is the one that's more predominantly? So we want to erase that one and empower you. And then of course, we're always going to have different things happening in life. So now that you know which one is the major one and you've overcome it, the other ones just become very insignificant. And it could be like, I don't feel love, I'm unworthy, I feel powerless. Those are usually the big ones.
A: Yes, I'm imagining right now this, and this is very similar. Somatics and especially Hannah's Somatics, which is the modality that I teach, a lot of it was based partially on psychology as well, but also on philosophy and different kinds of philosophies about being human and about living our lives. And somatic philosophy or psychology specifically is drawing from this idea that the unconscious mind, as you put it, is our physical body. And it is this wonderful thing to not have to think about breathing, to not have to think about what you're doing. And in fact, if we can move more and more into a somatic way of living, it doesn't involve a lot of thinking. It involves a full body experience of life that's not just in our heads, but that's really experiential. And that we're able to respond to life in a intuitive and natural way, where we're not trying, if that makes sense. And I feel like this is really similar to what you're talking about when you talk about you're reprogramming these patterns, and then people are more integrated in their way of approaching things. And then they can just be in their life or in their business, and things start occurring. Like you were describing the beliefs that you have now are in alignment with where you want to go. They're not blocking you anymore. And so then life is going to flow. Is that kind of what you mean?
AR: Absolutely. So if I may share a story, and it took me what? I'm in my 50s now. So it took me more than 50 years to figure this out or around there. I always would walk into the room, to any room. This is before NLP. I would walk into an, I'm a social person. I'm an introvert, extrovert, extrovert, introvert. I feed off of the energy of people. That's always been me. Yet there was always this piece where I would be walking a room, and I would sort of become a little bit of a wallflower, and just kind of like stay there. Or if I was in a group, I would never like really be the one pitching in a lot of the conversation. I just kind of stand there. And I was like, where is this coming from? Like, what is it? And through some of the NLP work, I realized where that started. And then, and I mean, now I know exactly when, I don't know exactly the day or anything, but I know when it started. And now I know the less sense of that situation. And when it started with my mom used to visit this, when we lived in Mexico, she used to visit this elderly woman. And well, I was only like four, like three or four or five. I don't remember how old I was very young. So it was my brother was, it was before my sister was born. So I was about three or four years old. And to me, they seem very elderly. So they could have been like in their fifties, but they looked to me like 60 and 80. So we would, every Tuesday she would go visit because she was a seamstress. And she would say, we're going over to Rebecca's house. I need you guys to sit still and be very quiet. And part of the reason is Rebecca's mom was probably, probably 80 or 70 years old, older. And she was just not patient with kids. So we were told we're coming, we're going to go over here. I have to go. Please sit there and stay quiet. So that's what we would do for like an hour. So every Tuesday, don't talk, just sit still and be very quiet. So that became a program, it became a belief. So that anytime that I was in a group, I would just kind of stand back because I, it was that belief that was instilling me when I was a little girl to just sit there and be quiet. Right.
A: And I'm thinking like on a muscular level, there's a, there's a muscular pattern to sitting still and being quiet. You might be like preventing yourself from speaking by keeping your jaw a little bit tighter. You might be like placing your arms somewhere on your body to kind of prevent movement from happening. And that can be tough for like a three to four year old child to do, to inhibit, to inhibit all that natural energy that you had. You know, absolutely.
AR: So see how we bring it back to both your modality and my modality of how it, yes. And as you were saying, as you were saying, like I could imagine your jaw, I was like, oh my, I was getting tight. I was, I was actually feeling that tension in my body. And I was like, she's absolutely right. I didn't think about that. I was only thinking about the programming that was happening. Right.
A: Well, and because the programming's happening on every level simultaneously, but we can only experience sometimes one or two levels at once because our nervous system, our awareness, our consciousness, like you said, we can't sit here and like be, you know, focusing and consciously breathing and flowing our blood and beating our heart and digesting our food and having this conversation and holding ourselves upright in a chair. Like we can't, we can't possibly do all of that consciously at once, but our system does it for us. Right. Whether you want to call that like your, you know, your unconscious mind, maybe even your, like your spirit, right? The, your nervous system, however, whatever language you want to use to describe it. Like there's something in us that's running all of these things simultaneously, but we can only be aware of like one or two things at once. Right. And so yeah, I mean, when we are, say for this example, if you being like three or four years old and inhibiting like all of this movement and expression, right? In a way it's like, wow, what an achievement. What a good little girl you were. But in another way, it's like, do we want to keep that program running forever? You know, or did it serve its purpose? And there was something to learn there, which is you can be attentive and quiet and polite. Right. Those are the learnings for so to speak. There may be others. I'm sure you know the others that came up for you. But then like, you know, now you don't have to stay that three to four year old who's inhibiting all of that and exerting effort to inhibit all of that.
AR: So learning that, that that was what was holding me back. And then being able to go to that little girl and see what I needed to learn and then reapply that to my lesson to my, to the rest of my life has made such an impact. And now I could talk about it and it's, you know, and I share that story because I want people to know, give them an example. If you have something we can overcome it. All we have to, it's not about overcoming it. It's just reprogramming it with something that's going to serve us. So now that little girl goes back and says, I could speak up. I could be polite and I could be friendly and I could, you know, listen to what you have to and yet share what I want to share with you or respond back to you, you know, listen to understand you. I get to do that now.
A: Yes, that's really beautiful. That really does open a lot of doors, a lot of possibility in every moment to be able to have that like openness and receptivity. Because here's the thing that I have been learning about recently. When we are exerting effort to inhibit natural, natural behaviors, naturalness in ourselves, right? Like a three or four year old is supposed to be like moving around probably and making funny noises and jumping, you know, like for the most part, that's what they would do if they didn't have anyone telling them otherwise, you know, or in the same way as like, you know, if you really like you're sitting in a meeting and you have all these things that you want to say, but like you're waiting to speak, you have to like exert some effort to not only like remember what it is that you want to say, but also to stop yourself from interrupting the person, you know what I mean? So when we have to do this like holding back of ourselves, it's actually a doing, it's actually effortful, right? And if we can, like you said, reprogram and in, you know, in my work, like decontract the muscles that are holding, that are part of that inhibitory thing or part of inhibiting our movement or inhibiting our expression, when we can release that and integrate it back into our bodies, then we have more energy freed up to do whatever it is we want to do. We have more energy for listening, for speaking, for receiving, for understanding when we're not already busy doing something else, unconsciously busy doing something else.
AR: Yes, and it goes back to what we were talking about earlier, when we release control, then everything, you know, we could flow, we could open up to receiving more. And giving more.
A: Yes, yes. And giving because giving and receiving they're really just two sides of the same thing. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. This is wonderful. So tell us a little bit about, you know, you do you work with people one on one and then you also do group group work as well and you teach people how to go through nlp processes. Right. So you have, you have started like training people in nlp. Can you say a little bit about how what that how how is that kind of take it to another level for people.
AR: So I love what I do with nlp. So for me, it's most people come, you know, it's everybody comes for different reasons. And some people come like, I just want my business to get better. I just want to have more success. I want to have more sales or I want to have more x, y, z in my in my life. So when they come into my class is they are going to go through the material. I'm going to teach you the material as I'm teaching you the material you're always all of a sudden it's going to be like, Oh, that resonates with me. And somehow your unconscious mind becomes aware and you start to take the lessons and reapplying them. So as you're learning nlp to become a practitioner, because once you go through my class, you could practice nlp and you could practice it in a way where you could help others. What ends up happening, we end up practicing in our in our cells first. And when we start to see that is like, Oh, oh, I feel so much better. I feel so much lighter. We start to see the world slightly different. It's almost like taking this bandaid like glasses off and now we see more clear, because it's nlps about the linguistics, the words that created the programs, and those programs are that have attached themselves to our body neurologically. So when we can reprogram our, our neurons through our linguistics is when we find the freedom when we find the core of who we're meant to be or who we are. And it could be, it could just be having better relationships and it could, it's different for every for, for many different people. And at the end of the day, everything is intertwined business and life are always somehow together intertwined. So people sometimes show up for business and others show up for their personal life, and they'll see like my personal life is going great now all of a sudden my business is going great, or my business is going fantastic and oh, my relationship with my kids my relationship with my husband or my wife, it's getting so much better. Right.
A: That's what makes me think of like when, when we develop health and balance in one area, it will automatically impact all the other areas of our life kind of this way that these things are not separate from each other psychology is not like separate from business any more than our legs are separate from our arms, you know they're all connected to each other. I love that you know you also talk a lot about communication. And I know there's a big communication piece that you bring in which is a really, really necessary thing for business, you know and take one of the first conversations that we had you were talking about how people don't realize that they're speaking different languages to each other. And that's something that you help people like develop is an ability to hear the way in which another person is speaking to you and like how you can speak their language instead of speaking your language and they're speaking their language and there's no communication happening. Can you talk a little bit about like this kind of concept of like you know we're both speaking English but maybe we're having different communication a different style of communication and how that can get in the way of getting things done. Absolutely.
AR: So one of the biggest parts. Well, maybe the biggest parts in NLP, it's communication. It's the linguistics, and there's different, there's different modalities that we learned in NLP about communication. The biggest thing that we all should take in any kind of communication is, are we listening to respond or are we listening to understand. And when we're listening to respond we were already like, Oh, this is what I have to respond back to them, not really hearing the whole the whole story, or listening to the message behind the message. And when you sit there and you listen to understand then you understand what the message, what the message is, because a lot of the words that we choose, they're going to tell us how we actually think and we are how our programming is. So the words we choose could tell me whether you live in a world of possibilities, or you live in a world of impossibility. So I teach that in, in NLP. There's another component that I, I also teach in communication through NLP, and it's how we, you and I are having a conversation in English right now. And our audience is this English speaking, I hope, and they're listening to us. However, they could be only hearing a part of what we're saying, because a part of it is what resonates with them. They might be able to see, Oh, I see what she means. That sounds really good. Oh, I really like how she's making me feel. You know, I understand now what she's saying. So each of us have all four components within us. Just one of them is more predominantly. And so we tend to speak in the one that's more predominantly. And it really comes down to listening to what predicates people are using so that then we could see what they're trying to tell us. And then we could now respond back to them and they know that we understood what they said. And one way I like to, I like to share a story and actually did have it. It happened to me my very first time that I was in, in Europe. And it was a Sunday morning we decided we were in Paris, and we decided to go to a cafe and, you know, order a coffee. And none of us spoke French. We tried. So remember we sat down outside the little cafe and the waiter comes super nice person. And I decided to make an attempt to order coffee. So what I said, I'm to our tassas the cafe per favor. And he's just looking at me like, what? And I say it again. And I thought maybe I'm just completely mispronouncing my, my sentence and I said it again to our tassas the cafe per favor. And he still has that look on the deer legs, you know, and then he finally said, three tassas the cafe and I was like, see. And then my knees and my brother started busting up afterwards. You know, I was so grateful for the waiter that he decided to speak to me in Spanish and I was able to order the coffee, but they started laughing because they're like, did you hear yourself? I know I said three cups of coffee in French. I like, no, you said three in French, Spanish and Italian all in one sentence. And that's how we usually communicate. Oh no. What I'm saying is that you and I could be having this conversation but somebody else might not hear it. It may sound French to them. And for somebody else might not see what we're trying to say and it may sound Italian to them.
A: Right, like our interpretation or like what the, I'm thinking about it kind of like the lens that of our understanding of our perception of like what we're actually able to like relate to and and and literally understand that differs from person to person and it probably also differs like moment to moment for people to like there may be times where like, you know, I know like with me like if I get really tired and at the end of the day. And my husband's trying to communicate things to me like, it's like I don't follow him like I just like I don't, it's like he's speaking a different language I'm just like I don't really know how to respond to what you're saying right now. You know, because my brain is like not really registering it at that moment, you know, but catch me, you know, the next morning or, you know, midday or something when I'm like awake and energized, like I would hear something totally different.
AR: And it's like somebody could be telling you something over and over and you're like, or you're telling them. And you're like, I've been telling them but they're not understanding it they're not getting it. They're not listening to what I'm saying, oh my gosh they don't see what I'm trying to tell them. And it's because they're their way of communicating is could be one and I'm speaking in the other. So what I teach is first let's find out what's your predominant one have five questions that I asked my students we go through the answers and they're like, oh okay now I'm the I know that this is mine. This is my predominantly. So then I teach him to now be able to speak and the other language and the other forms when they're having a conversation. Because now you're get to be intentional of I want to communicate with you. Let me let me hear what you're saying so that I could now create an image and understand what you're saying, and then I'll be able to speak to you and how you are communicating with me.
A: Yeah, that's beautiful that's accommodating it's very accommodating to the other person and it is, as you mentioned just a moment ago it's driven from a place of actually desiring like good communication. And in order for you know if we really desire that then we have to have a certain level of flexibility in ourselves, because we can't make the other person understand us. But if we can, but if we can offer some understanding and set kind of the tone. It's more than likely that maybe understanding will blossom in them and they will understand us right but if we're, we're kind of expecting kind of the kind of going back to this idea of like, you know, the change and the possibility is available to you within you. It's not available to me. You know Jim just simply because you're here in front of me teaching me some nlp skills like I have to do something with it it's inside of me. The change in the shift has to happen in my experience and it's the same way with this communication. Right like you're showing people a new way of being kind of flexible and accommodating so that they can achieve what it is they really say they want to achieve which is good communication. Right. I love that I think that's so empowering to people because that's really the only thing that we can have, you know, so to speak control over is what we're doing, not what the other people are doing. Right. Absolutely.
AR: Yeah, all I can do is control me. And at the same time as I'm controlling me I also get to be flexible. I can make anybody else do anything they don't want to do. It's their choice. I just get to accept and be flexible with their choices.
A: Yes, you know and what's so wonderful is I really, you know, when I'm with you when I'm around you I can feel this like incredible strength that you have. Right. And this flexibility and it's, you know, it's kind of like back to my yoga days like that was like the ideal that's what we wanted our bodies to do was be strong and flexible right, but this can also happen on every other level of our consciousness that we can be strong mentally and flexible. It's not one or the other we you know and sometimes if we're, we're trying to too hard to be strong if we're again kind of putting in all that effort, it gets in the way, because the letting go has to be balanced with the strength, you know, kind of like the recovery from your workout, you know, has to be balanced with your workout otherwise, you know, it's you may get injured or you may kind of have setbacks, and it may take you longer to get where you're going. Right.
AR: It's the same thing that you also teaching your somatic, you help us, you know, release the tension with, you know, through the breathing exercises and the in the micro movements that you teach us. It's the same thing when you help us release, we become free. And we become so much more flexible in our body movement and we feel so much better and healthier when we get to be flexible with the other person. We are free, and we allow them and we give them permission to be free.
A: Oh, yes, I love that yes. And I think about that with, you know, this concept of communication and understanding like how incredibly frustrating it can be when it feels like we're speaking two different languages when we don't feel understood, you know, and we can tend to like focus on our own experience, you know, but we don't realize like the other person may be having a similar experience of frustration and not being understood. Right. So like how can I create that how can I create that understanding and, you know, one of the things that I think is so important is asking questions versus giving more information sometimes like, you know, if the communications is not really flowing like, can I ask a question to make sure that I understood what this person was saying and I mean this is going to things like active listening and all kinds of communication techniques but I feel like there's something really important here which is that the, the suspension of maybe I don't know the suspension of my belief of like thinking I know what they're saying thinking I know what they're doing or what they're experiencing and instead asking a question that gives me more information and maybe corrects my misunderstanding, you know, clarifies what they really mean and the person who's being asked to get this experience of asking themselves that question because I'm asking it, you know, and it helped it can help them get more clear on what they what they think and what they what and this is such a huge piece of communication is just clarifying asking questions repeating what you heard the person say and it seems so basic, but we don't do this a lot of times we're so wrapped up in our own experience that we forget to be curious about like what other people are actually experiencing and what they have to express.
AR: That is absolutely true Amy. That is the one of the biggest key one is first understanding how we're processing the information because really is that's what I was explaining in a few a few minutes ago is you may see things here or get things in a different perspective. So understanding how I process the information is the first key and then understanding how the other person processes that information and being able to speak back to them and in the way they're processing. And if I don't understand. It's about asking questions that's what really communications about how specifically what would you please clarify that for me what I, this is what I understood if that's not correct. Can you correct me if I'm wrong. It's giving them that feedback. And it all comes down to asking specific questions.
A: Can I ask a question? I mean, this is me wanting to get a little bit of like, you know, like a coaching moment with you or whatnot, because I feel like I fall into this trap a lot with my, sometimes with my clients, but also just in my life in general, where I will say something, I will explain something, and then I can see the other person processing it. And then I want to ask them a question to see how they're processing the information. And before I know it, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, does that make sense? And I realized that that's like not really, because like you're usually just going to like nod their head and go, uh-huh. Because it's sort of like this leading question that leads them to making sense, right? And it's not as open-ended to actually uncover like what they think or feel or what they're experiencing, right? It's sort of almost like a yes or no question rather than like a question that would like, you know, invoke or invite some kind of personal expression from them. And I think it also like is kind of a weird question because it asks them to validate me that I'm what I said makes sense. Do you see that?
AR: I see, I see, I see exactly where you're going. That makes sense. It makes sense. It totally makes sense. We, and that is because we, we both tend to speak the same, you and I speak a lot in the same language. And so for us, things need to make sense. Yeah, from our client in my not. So one of the very first things that I do with my clients, once they start working with me, if they're not in my NLP classes and they are just coaching with me, I want to know how they process information. So I will give them the five that that test of the five questions and then I will figure out what their strongest is. And I put that on their file. So every time that I speak to them and we, you know, we're working on something and I could see that that like it landed on them and they're processing it. And I either either I'm on Zoom and I could see it on their face or we are on the phone and I could just kind of hear it. I gave them their moment and then I'll turn around and then I'll ask, well, how does you feel about that now? Care to explain? Oh, OK. How does it feel? Or it could be like, well, so how do you see yourself or it could be, how do you see yourself now? Or how does that sound now? How, you know, how does it? I would love to hear what you just experienced. So depending on who they are, then I would ask that question. I would reframe it in that way.
A: Yeah, I can see that it's, you know, asking a how question and asking a question that leaves it open-ended and invites them to really take a moment to feel in or sense in or notice what there is going on in their mind. It's probably such an it's definitely more effective than the first thing that flies out of my mouth, which is more about me than it is about them, you know, but I've kind of caught myself doing that and I thought like, oh, there's there's an missed opportunity here on my end to gather more information, which I think is ultimately what I'm wanting to do at that moment. I've just given them like a download, like you said, and I can see they're processing it and I want to invite them to express or share, you know. And of course, maybe there is like some little girl part of me who wants, you know, to be understood or wants some kind of validation, but that's that's not primary to what is, you know, going on with my clients. That's that's something that's about me. You know, that's something I can work on on my own time.
AR: Well, that's a good thing is, though, is that you have an awareness. And what I also find is that all of my clients bring a lesson. So they come to me for something. There's no accident or anything. They come to me for something. And I also learn from them because sometimes they'll say something. I'm like, oh, that just landed on me. And I have to put it away for a little bit and work with them, work them through it. And then when we get off the phone, I'm like, OK, now I have to process myself. I now need to process this so that this was a lesson for me. So there's no coincidence. So this is something that's coming up for you because there's an awareness and of something that you get to now figure out where it started and how you can now change it. And the fact that you're open to change it tells you that you're ready to take that lesson and apply it to self.
A: Yes, yes. And it feels like it feels like old stuff. It feels like stuff that I've been working through in layers, kind of like when you clean out the garage, you know, and you start with just like the stuff that's in the front, you know, or whatever. And then you kind of get deeper into things and you're like, oh, there's this old box of my CDs from high school. It's like you kind of get to the deeper layers. So it's it's something that I feel like I've been working with a long time. And there's now like it's now it's more clear each time that that pattern is showing up in some way in my life, like even just in that moment where I ask, you know, does that make sense? And they're just like nodding their head and I'm going, oh, you know, there's something that I'm missing out on here. It's it's part of that excavation work. It's part of that work that's been going on to reframe and reorganize my unconscious mind, the things that I'm unconsciously doing.
AR: So was there ever a time in your life where you felt like you needed to here I am? Look at me.
A: Oh, I'm sure, you know, and like I had a very extensive vocabulary as a little girl, like, extraordinary with words. My son is that way too. So it may be hereditary and things like that. But I think it's also that both of my parents like really enjoy words. Like I think one of the gifts that my dad got for, you know, my mother when they got married was like a big dictionary or something like their like their word nerds, you know. And so when I was a kid, I would say these things and I didn't really know what they meant. I was sort of just regurgitating words and I would get it right sometimes, you know. And then there were other times where I really wasn't sure if I got it right, right? And that that sense of like doubt of did am I understood? Did what I say make sense? That's the first thing that comes to mind, right?
A: Is like that little girl who like not sure if what she said made sense or if she was just, you know, saying something that she heard once and it didn't. It doesn't make sense.
AR: So I think what you're looking for is like when you see your client process, that little doubt shows up and it's like, did I just do the right thing? Yes. You it shows up. Does that make sense? Because you're like, was that the right thing? It didn't work. Yeah. Yeah.
A: And you know, the truth is that I, of course, I want to know like what they're experiencing from what I said, but on like, on like a deeper level, it's not it's like, even if what I said wasn't the perfect thing, right? Like by some measure of the moment, like that's actually OK, because they're getting from it what they're getting from it, not from I can't, you know, make what I intended them to experience happen, right? If I wanted them to feel comforted, they may or may not have the capacity to feel comforted at that moment. That's not up to me. Right. So yeah, so just kind of like surrendering and letting them have whatever experience they're having without needing to like have what I said be the right thing.
AR: So see, that's your lesson now. That you are you get to yo
u get to help them to the other side. And in whatever capacity that they could process and you did it right. It doesn't, you know, there's no right or wrong at the end of the day is. Did you get the result that you were looking for? Right, right. Yeah.
A: And that is important to me. I think that's important to all of us as coaches, as guides, as people who are here to help others like, you know, and it's not just about the result for like our fame and glory as coaches or facilitators or whatever. It's like, how can I truly help this person with what's important to them with where they want to go? So that they can really fly, you know, so that they can really go for everything that they want to go for. And, you know, I think it's so wonderful that your business is called Yo Soy Amazing because we are we're amazing. We just we are amazing. We may not be present to it. We may not be allowing that amazingness to to flow in our lives, right, to be felt and experienced by us and by the world.
AR: It's about giving ourselves grace, because sometimes we are looking for for for perfection and perfection doesn't exist. Excellent stuff. And giving ourselves the grace that, hey, I I I'm human. I am still evolving. I'm giving you the best of me. And if I help you in whichever capacity get to the other side, then I did the best and I did it the best that I could to help you. Then we both get to grow. And I given ourselves that grace at that moment. It's like, yes, we want to know because we're human beings at the end of the day. We want to know. And it's it's a validation. Is it or maybe mastering our craft by getting that feedback from the client? Because we want to know that that makes sense, that that work for you. Because it's not necessarily a validation as well. It's also is what I'm doing something that I could continue to duplicate because it may not work for everyone. What do I get to learn from you and how can I use it in a different person, you know, different person?
A: Right, right. Yeah. So I mean, obviously, like finding out if what I did was effective is certainly something that I think is important to do in my business, but that can be like in a feedback form or something, right? That can be like hosts, you know, session kind of getting, you know, getting that information. I think I love this. I think that I'm going to start reframing this for myself in those moments and thinking about what what question would invite more more expression from my clients. Yeah.
AR: Love it. And you have a gift. You have they get the meditating, the gift of being open. And at that moment, it's one of the things that I sometimes do and I'm not good at meditating. Yes, I'm saying it. I'm not good at it. It's something that I need to practice and get better at it. I allow some, you know, when I I ground myself and I just like a God spirit universe, just guide me, put the words in my heart and in my soul that are going to help this person.
A: Yeah, that's another form of surrender. That's another form of like floating and letting the water carry you. Yeah.
AR: So sometimes I'll just do that and then I let it come out and oh, OK. Yeah.
A: And so beautiful that, you know, you have that ability to let go. And I think that's that's what I'm working with people on a physical, you know, muscular level is like, how can we let go of the tension that we're holding up the physical patterns that we're carrying that are in the way of moving easily or, you know, feeling as that good as we possibly can in our bodies. But there's an openness that you're helping people to create in their mental and emotional state in the way that they're experiencing their reality, where they're learning to let go and allow their unconscious mind to kind of allow their unconscious mind to run the show from a place that's derived of learning, of experience, of love versus just trying to protect me from something bad happening again. Absolutely. Yeah.
AR: I love I love what you do and not many people are familiar with what you do. Just giving us that those movements, that freedom to just allow our body to. Do what it's supposed to be. I mean, I love our sessions because afterwards I felt like all the tension goes away and then I'll go back and watch one of the videos that you send. I'm OK, let me do this because I've been feeling it here. I'm feeling it there. I think what we get, what we both do and what you do by teaching us that breath work and those movements really help our body heal. And when we're healed, we're in power. And then when we are in that empowerment, we can actually make changes in our life that impact others. And it could be just our family, but those changes, they get to see it and they get to take it out into community. And then we have a bigger impact in this world.
A: Yes, absolutely. That's why I have named my six month program Radiance because when we are and we kind of talked about this before, when you heal one aspect of yourself, right, one area of your life, it starts blending and moving into all other areas because our body, our consciousness, our spirit, it wants to grow. It wants to flourish. It wants to thrive, right? It wants to heal. That's what we're our bodies are made to do is regenerate and heal. It's about putting ourselves in a space where that is allowed to occur, right, where we're a lot where we're given we're giving ourselves that time and space to allow these changes that naturally want to happen to happen. Yes. Oh, it's been it's been such a pleasure. Would you please tell our listeners where they can connect with you if they want to work with you? Do you just work in person or do you work over Zoom as well?
AR: I work on Zoom. When I coach my clients and I also work in on the phone for coaching for my NLP classes, I am currently doing them live. I am actually going to be probably going hybrid or doing Zoom NLP in 2024 and just because I want to help my people. Where can you find me on my Instagram under Yo Soy Amazing and it's Y O underscore S O Y underscore amazing. Or my website Yo Soy Amazing and connect with me there.
A: Awesome. Yes, I highly recommend Anna. She's she's a powerful teacher and she's so good at holding space and being compassionate to whatever it is that you're experiencing while holding you in such a strong embrace. So I really I've loved working with you. I look forward to collaborating with you. So if anybody's interested in learning NLP or having a session, check her out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Amy. Thank you so much for being on here today and sharing your wisdom and some of your techniques.
AR: Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure and I just love being around you. Thank you. Thank you. Every time we see each other, there's this. I could just feel how. You have this calmness and peacefulness around you. And I love that energy.
A: Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's been it's been a journey. It's been cultivated and now it feels it feels really natural, which I am so pleased to say. Nice. Wonderful. OK, we'll catch up with you again soon. Thank you so much again. Thank you. Bye.
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