When you're facing burn out and ongoing fatigue, this is your body asking for something. It's likely asking for a change of speed and direction.
As a young, successful psychologist, Maya faced the truth of what her body was telling her: the way she living her life was unsustainable.
Furthermore, she got a message loud and clear that intrigued and confused her: Go to India.
What followed was a journey deep into her body, heart and soul that would open her in a myriad of ways and lead her to explore many alternative modalities, experimenting always with herself first.
In this inspirational interview we explore:
-What self-care really means and why we need it
-How material success did not bring her the joy and healing she was seeking
-The way leaving behind everything she had built helped to her to heal
-Unusual and Effective Techniques that she discovered and now shares with her clients
-Her voyage through India and what was so soothing to her about the culture
-How removing her hair helped her appreciate her deeper, inner beauty
and so much more!
Dr. Maya Shakti is Licensed Psychologist who uses Emotion Code, EMDR, EFT, Somatic Experiencing, Pranic Healing and other unusual and effective technologies in aiding her clients in recovering from burn out, developing tools for self-healing and finding inner clarity and peace.
Connect with Maya on her website
LISTEN WHILE READING!
Every day there is a forgetting and every moment there is the possibility of remembering. Remembering who you truly are, awakening to your body, to the inner world and experience of being alive. Here is where you find the beauty, the joy. Here is where you free your Soma. Hello everyone and welcome to Free Your Soma, Stories of Somatic Awakening and How to Live from the Inside Out. Today I have Dr. Maya Shakti here with me. She is a licensed clinical psychologist who focuses on helping women create self-care in all spheres of their lives. She practices an array of effective modalities from EFT, the Emotion Code, EMDR, Reiki, Pranic Healing and so much more. She addresses a wide variety of challenges that people face in this modern world from burnout to chronic fatigue and other psychosomatic issues.
I'm excited to have Maya here today. We had a very awesome, happenstantial kind of synchronistic meeting at a festival in Oregon a few weeks ago. I'm looking forward to this conversation. I I you have so much to share and lots of really fun stuff that we're going to explore today.
Yeah, absolutely. So we were talking just a little bit before we started recording and there's a story as to how you became the person sitting here right now. I I everybody has that, right? The story of how you came to be a psychologist who's practicing such an array of kind of alternative modalities. Maybe you can tell us a little bit about your background and how you got into psychology and this realm of study.
That would be wonderful. Yeah, I would say I knew early on that I wanted to do something in the healing arts, something. And essentially, it definitely started as a healer to heal themselves because as a young kid, it was just hard. I think there wasn't as much information out there as there is now about empathy and about sensitivity and feeling other people's energy. So I was just a little kid bombarded with everyone's stuff. And because no one told me that I'm actually feeling other people's stuff, I just thought I was going crazy, feeling a lot of emotions and things that I just didn't know how to make sense of it, which now I have developed an understanding of that. So it would be just like me sitting in Barnes and Noble in the self-help section reading and trying to figure out how to feel better. That was really where it all started, that desire to feel better and the belief in myself that I could feel better. And that was always the driving force. And so from there, in where I was from and what was surrounding me, psychology was the only healing arts that I was aware of. And so that seemed like the most obvious avenues. I became studied in psychology and I just continued that and continued that and got into the doctorate level, then became licensed. And from there, I realized that the therapy wasn't actually helping me. You know, as much as I believed in it and as much as I was like fully signed in, I was even in psychoanalysis. If people know what that is, it's like when you go to therapy four times a week for an hour each session. And I was kind of just engrossed in the psychological world. And even though I was like preparing to become a psychologist, I wasn't actually feeling any better. And so that's kind of where my journey started to separate from the West to the East. And so as a young psychologist, because I got into it, you know, kind of streamlined at 26, I was licensed and by kind of right before 30, like 28, 29, I already was in my own private practice. And as a young woman, I was just feeling really burnt out, really exhausted, like mentally not nourished. And I kind of was like at a crossroads, I I like, is this what my life has to offer? Like I'm educated, I'm successful, I have everything I've always wanted because I've worked towards it. But the very thing I've always really wanted was like internal happiness and peace. You know, only that. I didn't have. And yet I was meeting clients every, you know, every day, trying to help them achieve what I myself didn't have, which felt really like a cruel joke. And so I just recall this one moment where I was sitting in my office, it was so beautiful. I like really put a lot of intention in creating this beautiful space where people could feel comfortable. And I was sitting in my office and I just looked at the window and something just sort of snapped. I was kind of like, you know, I'm done. I don't want to see my life kind of passing before me with the same mold, same old and just kind of keep going down because my physical health was basically deteriorating. I I having a lot of, I think of it as like the Soma, the gut issues, the gastrointestinal issues, the leaky, you know, leaky gut, all those symptoms that are really now we know more is so related to the emotions. And so in that moment, I decided to leave at all. And that's it. And then I had spent a year preparing to leave my practice. And at that point, I was like, I had a full on life, you know, I was was I just bought a condo right next to my office. Like everything was sort of set for this life that I was meant to live. And I just said yes to myself. And then I said no to everything else. And that was really the beginning of my healing journey, like my real healing journey, because it takes levels and layers. Like sometimes we need to, not sometimes, like oftentimes we need to really go into the contrast of like, what is it working for us in order to know what can potentially work for us? So I don't know if you want to pause there, but like that's where I decided to go to India.
Yeah, wow, that is an incredibly brave thing to do. And I love that, you know, once you really felt what was true, which was that this was not working for you, you know, you were really dedicated to finding your way out of those circumstances. I I taking a year to like leave your practice, it seems like a very calculated thing to do, rather than, you know, a lot of times when people leave it all behind, they do it very impulsively, you know, and they just drop it all and they are, you know, maybe a little irresponsible or something, right? But it sounds like you really, you were dedicated to yourself enough to actually take the time to walk away from things. And that I think is really powerful. I think that's a really powerful commitment that you obviously had to doing what you felt was true inside of you, you know?
Yeah, I like to think of it like life is constantly pushing us forward. And we have kind of two choices, but it's really just one. The two choices are either get pushed or leap, right? And I felt like I was being, you know, starting to be nudged through the health. I think health is a really incredible communicative system, you know, oftentimes we get really bogged down like, oh, my body and it's hurting and the pain, but really all of these are just like intelligent systems to communicate to us that like something's not working. Like if I was cooking dinner and I got burned, I wouldn't be like, oh, why did I get burned? It's more like, oh, like don't touch the stove or don't be so close. Like it's all, it's all communication. So I feel like people often reflect to me that I'm so courageous, but I do, I'm sure other people can relate to this that when you're in it, it doesn't really feel like you have much choice because it's like, I would have these conversations with my body and it was like really it was really wild. Like Like would even, I would even start like, I would, I would almost like play with the idea. I'd have a really good day with sessions. I'd be helping people. I felt so like at service and I'm like, could I really leave this? Like, and then I would talk to my body and say like, maybe I'll just stay. And I could hear a voice in my body just being like, really, you want to stay? And then all of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, my body would start to like convulse and like start to have these like severe pain and my stomach would hurt and I'd like be doubled over in pain. And I quickly said, okay, no, no, no, I'll leave. I promise I'll leave. Like cause I had that commitment my body knew within a few months we were going to go. And then all the symptoms were just like magically disappear. And so it was this communication that like it wasn't just like a choice I had to go, but it was a, it was a promise I made to, to take better care of myself and my body was holding me to that promise. Wow.
Yes. And that's so true. Like just thinking about how our nervous system, you know, when we go into that retraction away from something, it can show up in all these forms like a stomach ache, like an illness where we're pulling away from something in, you know, our internal or our external environment, usually a combination of both, right? That's basically our body really just saying no to something. And I mean, I was thinking about that as you were talking about burning yourself on the stove because I cut my finger just the other morning, yesterday morning, chopping a vegetable. And every time that this happens where I chopped my finger, and it's happened quite a number of times, I kind of like, there's a part of me that looks back and goes like, what happened? Like what happened where that, where that, where I slipped and cut my finger with this knife? Cause I'm a very, I'm pretty good at that. Like I'm a pretty good knife user and chopper, right? And it's always that I wasn't present. I was distracted even just for a split second with something in my internal or my external environment or both, right? And I think about that in terms of the way that our modern world is so full of distractions. And there's this real intense like pressure on most of us to succeed or, you know, do life well, whatever that means, based on the culture that you're in. And so we're under this pressure that is very distracting from what, what it actually means to be present in our bodies. And so of course we're going to be like, Oh my God, how did I get this illness? Why is this happening to me? Why did I cut my finger? And it all comes down to not really being present and aware of what's happening in our body, because there's all these other noises.
I just love what you're saying so much because I feel like that is kind of the, the essence of everything that I've been working to uncover, which is like, we grew up with this message of like, this is what life successfully looks like. And I was like, okay, and I was like, very ambitious, very passionate person. I, you know, I got the program, okay, this is what life is. And then I like went out and I got it. And I was sitting there. I looked the part, you know, everything around me looked the part. And then I went really deep inside and I was like, is this feel good? And none of it felt good. I I felt like, I felt like I was empty of my own internal beingness. I I like literally when I went inside, it was just like this emptiness, like everything about me was so superficial, the way I look, the way I presented, I mean, it was just so, I feel like with clients, like, I would squeeze out enough to like be there for them. But it was like, I was living for them instead of like, having a rich life that I could just share with them, which is kind of like the huge journey I've been on, which just feels like it got flipped on its head. But so many of us, like, what does it look like to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, husband, worker. And I think for a lot of us, we get these messages of what it looks like. And then when we're sitting in that seat, looking like it, we're so confused, because it doesn't feel good. And I think that's just the society we're all raised in, which is like, not really based on what actually feels good, what happiness actually is. It's like all these ideas of it. And at the end of the day, like, you can't be happy with the idea of happy happiness comes really from, you know, how you take care of yourself moment by moment, that awareness and that cultivation. And so I think all of us can relate to kind of feeling out of place in our own lives.
Yes, absolutely. And it's a journey of remembering or coming back into, like, what it means to feel and be experiencing life through our, through our body, through our physical, like, first person experience. Because so much of our, you know, most of us during our childhoods, we get incredibly externalized in various ways. And there's, there's a, there's a reason for that, like, we need to be conscientious people and, you know, aware of others and stuff like that. And you could even say that there's some kind of, like, reasoning for us, forgetting that, that internal felt sense of self and that connection, because then we get to remember and we get to remember in a powerful way that benefits those who have also forgotten how to connect, right. So it's like this kind of thing where, while there's this sorrow and having had to go through all that suffering, it's like, well, the suffering led you here to having all of this incredible wisdom and knowledge to share with people. And it's an ongoing journey. I mean, I'm sure you're still accumulating tools and knowledge and experience, you know, in your life right now, that in 15 years is going to, you know, is going to be transmitted in a whole new way, right?
Yeah, I love that perspective. And I totally agree with it. It's like, you know, Ramda said, we're just all walking each other home, you know, and that's really what it is. It's just deepening the practice. And And for me, it was so interesting, because I had kind of reached the mountaintop of like health of mental health, I was like going into, you know, I was, I was a successful practitioner, professional, I done, you know, all the therapy that was available to me in that sort of environment. And it just, it didn't get me what I wanted. And I in the coolest thing about I think, where I was standing was like the belief that there was something more, I think that's always been my driving force. And maybe that's part of what's helped me evolve is like, just believe it. And I think for each and every one of us, we should all like, you know, never just settle with what we're told is enough, like we, you know, if you believe that you could feel better than, than go after it. And I do believe in like the law of attraction, like I think because I was so persistent and relentless with like, I know there's more for me in this life than then things started to show up and open up. And And I remember I was in one of many retreats that I had tried to, you know, find and this one retreat with this breathwork is one of the first times I ever did a breathwork session. And I recall in the breathwork, something opened up, you know, it's very psychedelic breathwork. And I got this very clear message to go to India, and to go by myself. So it wasn't like I was going to invite my fiancee at the time, it was like, no, you're going to leave and go by yourself. And this is, I mean, I'm a person that even though I had done yoga most of my life, it wasn't like I was that interested in going to India, I wasn't like the kind of person that was like, into any of that. So I thought it would be, I thought it was kind of weird, I was like, India, like, what do I need to do in India? But the message was so clear. And And that year, I started to cultivate like an understanding of what I might do. And so for the first time in my life ever, I bought a one way ticket, which is the most exciting and terrifying thing to do. And I left and I went to, I went to India. And it was scary, I remember going to like my family host, at the time, that was hosting me, and I literally would leave their house. I was supposed to only stay with them for like a couple of days. But I didn't, they couldn't get rid of me because they were feeding me really well also. But I didn't leave for like two weeks. I was so afraid. And then finally, I started to get more comfortable. And, and India became one of the places I call home now. And getting to work with new people, new modalities, getting activated by the land. I think for me, someone who just grown up so sheltered, you know, never leaving America, just kind of living in that bubble to go to India and to just see the way people interact. Like, you know, we'd be driving in a car and just the nomenclature was very much like, Oh, we'll get there when we get there in ease and grace and just the way people flow. And it's like this chaotic, rhythmic energy that is felt. It's unlike anything else. And I think it really just gave me the space in my cells to just breathe. You You I didn't even those like a lot of people. And it was really busy. I somehow felt more spacious than I'd ever felt before. It was almost like people in India just like they let it kind of hang out how they felt and what's going on. And that, you know, as this very sensitive person who picks up on people's energy, whether they hide hide it from you intentionally or unintentionally, I could feel it. And so in India, I just felt like people were just the way they were and they weren't trying to hide it. And I just felt like I could finally exhale.
Yeah, I relate so much. I went to India also. And it was a really big turning point for me in my life when I went in 2015. And, you know, I think it's really great that you actually stayed with a host family for two weeks and let your body acclimate. I mean, I think there's sense to that. Because sometimes, you know, just even getting used to the air and the bacteria and all of that, you know, like, yeah, I I something similar, I ended up staying with an Indian family for like the first, you know, week or two of my experience there before I felt like brave enough to step out. What part of India did you go to first?
So So it was all kind of just being guided. I didn't really know too much, remember about India at the time. And I had heard about this guru called Osho and he had a center in Pune. And it was like very secure and safe. And I felt like that'd be a good place to kind of open up and unwind. Because again, I didn't know, I didn't even know what I was doing in India. It's kind of like, I went on the journey without understanding why. I just knew I had to go and I just followed my guides and my intuition. And so on the journey became more evident. Oh, this is why you're in Pune. To meet this first, it's kind of like, you know, looking backwards. But at the time I was, I started off in Pune, we went to, I went to the Osho Center. And then from there, it was just like spiritual boot camp, which as a person who identifies as like a major healer junkie, I was like in heaven. I mean, it was like morning meditation, dance meditation, you know, silent meditation, walking, meditation, all kinds of meditation. And I was just like, I felt like I found my home. I found my people. I was so happy. And that place, I did a lot of detoxing. I did this intense meditation, it's called Mystic Rose, something like that. And it was a three week workshop where the first week all you do is laugh for three to four hours a day in a room with a couple with a bunch of other people, you just laugh, which is excruciating. I don't know about you, but that was so hard for me to like laugh and you had to laugh. And And all these technologies really caused me to like open up and open up in ways that it's kind of like what we talked about, like the emotions code or somatic, it's like this laughter, or then we spent a week crying every day, we had to cry for, you know, three hours. And And it did is just loosened up all this stuff that I think I accumulated over the years over the graduate school over my whole life. And so after that workshop, I feel like I lost like 100 pounds of like stuck energy. And I felt like so free and my dancing became more beautiful. And And just felt like literally like the light from my face started to shine through. And it was like, I got to know myself in a whole different way, you know, not just Maya, Dr. Maya, what she can do for you, but actually become my own person. And I didn't tell anyone I was a psychologist, I kind of just allowed myself to be myself and not, you know, my title, which never really resonated with me. I always felt like, like just because someone goes to school doesn't make them know any more than, you know, someone that they're working with, you know?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that those that was at the OSHA Center that you did these. Yes, because I did it. I wasn't in Tune, but I did an OSHA meditation that was like this three hour four hour experience was like a 14 step meditation, but I guess wasn't actually created by OSHA, but was created by his students. And it was something very similar, like it took us through this process, where each step of the meditation we had to like do or embody or make vocal some kind of experience, like there was a crying section, there was like a laughter section. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, there was like a sexuality section, but this was like just in a condensed period of like three or four hours, you know, versus what it sounds like you went through, which was like much more extensive. But you got to think about like kind of this idea that you mentioned with the emotion code, like all these different experiences that we've had in our lives that just got stored or put away somewhere because we didn't have the space or the time or the tools to process it. And so it's just sitting in us, like you said, this sort of stagnant energy. And then you do something to really shake that up. Maybe you spend, you know, three hours crying, but it's not all authentic crying. It's like some of it's pretending to cry, some of it's just making the face of crying, some of it's making the body posture of crying. But in doing that, in going into those physical experiences, you know, you start to bring up the authentic feeling, right?
Exactly. You have to like, it's like Tinder, you've got to like, you know, you got to get, you know, you have to seduce the fire to come out. But honestly, I'll share this personal information. Crying, laughing was harder, actually like, excruciatingly harder than crying. Once I got the mode, like the system ready for crying, I was like, relieved. I was like, thank God, we're done with the laughter week. I think it was the hardest week for me to just laugh. And I realized then that I'd become so serious, you know, being a psychologist is like, so serious, everything was so serious. And I like got stuck in that face. Yes, the laughter cracked me open. And I actually realized that I'm like, such a silly person. And the whole group, you know, ended up like kind of calling me the clown, because I would like embody this clown. And it's like so funny, because like, if you meet me, you're like, I wouldn't see that on me. But But was like the little Maya that I used to be. That was who I was before I had to kind of like, become so serious in society. And, you know, what does success mean? It means like, holding this, you know, sort of statue and all this stuff that we start to like, I think what Osha really like, did well was like, and and teach us how to crack open the glass that we've like encapsulated ourselves in. Right.
Yeah. And And way that pleasure can be harder for us to experience and actually be present in, then our grief and our sadness and our frustration, like, of course, those things can be difficult to, but it's interesting in my own journey, I discovered that sometimes it is the good feelings that I have a harder time being fully present in, you you whether you want to call it self sabotage or just, you know, a nervous system response to like, you know, oh, well, I'm feeling good. Maybe that's not safe to feel good, right?
Things like this that show up. That's actually that's actually what I did in my that that first part of my journey was like, it was a real long haul of like, reprocessing everything I'd known because up until then, you wake up in the morning, you do 50 things, you make a to do list, you go down the to do list, it's very masculine. I grew up so masculine. And I rocked it, like, let's be honest, I rock the masculine. And, you know, as a consolation prize, I lost my femininity, I lost my joy, I lost my inner like, free down. And so yes, I succeeded in masculine, but I, but I feel like that's where I just felt like I was being let down by everybody. I I being let down by the way I was raised, the society, you you that initial part was just so masculine. And here I was like almost nearing 30. Actually, I was 30 at the time. So yeah, I was 30 at the time. Didn't feel satisfied in my relationship, my intimate relationships, didn't have kids, which was something I really always felt was like a calling for me. And so it was kind of like, I had everything everyone else wanted for me, but I had nothing that I wanted for me. And that's why when I went to India, it it kind of like, I was getting broken open and all these different therapies that no one ever I never learned any of this academic stuff. Like, to me, the only academic stuff I learned was like, cry about it, talk about it, talk about it, and then talk about it some more. And I mean, I'm so professional, like, I know exactly my issues, how and why. And that didn't really help me. And I feel like a lot of people in therapy, at least like, what I've just noticed some things people generally say is like, I've been to therapy this many years, I know what's wrong with me. But my, my passion and my joy was like, how to take what you're struggling with and actually just like heal it, like, do you want to keep your story? Or do you want to actually like, go on to a new story? You know, because there's always a new story, right? We're never, you know, we're not going to like be officially healed and cleared, but we can enjoy a level of like joy and pleasure now. And we don't have to, I don't know, self-flagellate ourselves to feel like we deserve it.
And these kind of natural conclusions that can come in when we work through something all the way through to some kind of completion, even if that thing is going to come back around again for like another, you know, iteration, right, in our lives. But having that moment where we actually take our body through the complete experience. And that's actually something that I've recently been able to kind of verbally describe about what we do in Hanosomatix. And you know what this is. So it'll be kind of fun to share this with you. But kind of our brains really crave a beginning, a middle and an end. We crave this like linear experience so that we can kind of, you know, start something, do it, and then end it. And maybe we do that over and over many times. But that's literally what we're doing in Hanosomatix. We do a movement and it might be a very tiny movement. And then you slowly come out of the movement, you release the pattern, and then at the end of the movement, you relax for a moment, and you complete the pattern. And we do that over and over again to rewire and change the way that your musculature is held on your body. But really, this is just a way that our, you know, our body systems, they crave that we have morning, we have daytime, and we have night, right. It can be seen everywhere that we have these cycles and we go through them and we complete them. Well, what happens when we don't know how to complete something, when we don't know how to actually let something conclude, we're running in this group, this same story that we're talking about, and we're talking about, I remember being the mat two before I discovered, Schmatix is just talking about my problems. I I therapy from the time I was 16, talking and talking and talking myself in circles, with no conclusion.
Exactly. And And I'm not at all in any way, shape or form, trying to harp on therapy. It has a place, but if you look at history of it, like, think of the era that, you know, Freud was in, it was like the Victorian ages, right? It was like, women were like, literally buttoned up, like, literally, like, not just their physical clothing, their bodies, but their lips. I I they were like zipped up and shut down. And so for a woman to sit in a room privately, with a man who is, you know, men are more of an authority, more of like the professionals, right? They're the educated ones back then. And to get to speak about her innermost feelings, I mean, who needs an oh, show shaking session or a laughing session or crying session, that in and of itself was unbelievably revolutionary. Now, fast forward, like, you know, many years, I mean, women don't, we talk a lot, we can have a Freudian sort of speaking session with our girlfriends, like, we need something more, just like I always say, like, whatever iPhone you might have started off with, it served its purpose, but like, we constantly have to upgrade and evolve. And so I think therapy and where it started is perfect as all, you know, every, we all have to go on the shoulders of, you know, our ancestors and of our parents and, you know, hope that our parents, you know, raised us hopefully better than their parents raised them. And hopefully we could do, take what our parents taught us and kind of like evolve from there. And so to me, you know, therapy was super helpful. And then at one point, it wasn't. And then I, and then I evolved. And so for me, as a psychologist, what I've always done, because that's just how I am, is I will go out and I'll be the guinea pig and I'll try new therapies that are really, you know, maybe not as popular, you know, in the, in the area that I am, and like the area, the Western area. And then I'll incorporate into my practices, but I'll incorporate it really seamlessly, because I won't just be like, Hey, I tried this new thing. And then like, here, try it on, but I'll have embodied it, I'll have integrated it. And then it's like, how can they not share this with my clients? How? I I like, do I not want to help them? You know, so I never, I've never actually stayed in the box of just talk therapy. And so people that tend to seek me out are patients that maybe have done a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and are like, you know, they're hitting a wall and they're like, you know, I've done this, it's benefited me. And now it's like what you said, it's like now I've come through a circle and everything's kind of cropping up again. And I want to do it a new way.
Yes, yes. And And I mean, I am so grateful that I started talk therapy when I was 16. And I had multiple therapists that I saw up until my mid to late twenties. And then different times in my life when I've needed a needed a therapist, I've sought one out, you know, and it's incredibly beneficial. And some people, you you and this is from my experience as a somatic educator, they need that first. They actually just like you said, the buttoned up Victorian woman who has not even used her voice to share what's going on. That's like the first step is just to say it, to speak it, to have someone hear you and be present and, you know, speak back to you meaningfully, right? And some people aren't quite ready for the somatic element in the beginning, it's would be overwhelming. You know, and then of course, there's always going to be people who are way more, for whatever reason, connected to their body. And so starting with talk therapy, it doesn't do anything for them, they need something that's going to probe into their body, you know, right away. So it's like every person is going to be different in terms of what they need as a starting point as like an entry point for, for healing.
I love that. And I think that's really the most important message is that there is something out there for you 100 percent without a shadow of a doubt. And you just have to believe that and trust that. And if the therapist you're talking to is just not, it's just not feeling it, you're not feeling it, trust that. I always say to patients like, they'll say to me, oh, I worked with this therapist and I didn't really, I didn't really feel it was helping me, but I stayed for a year. I was like, would you take, you know, would you take like a supplement to like help you with something and you take it for a year? Would you take it for a year and like let it let an entire year go by without seeing any results? I'm like, I feel like people should have high standards and like they should expect results. And I told my patients like, if you don't see a benefit within like two weeks, within a month, you know, a month and a half at the most, then like you need to tell me like we, I mean, I would most likely tell them ahead of time, but like they, I feel like people deserve to improve what they want to come and prove for, you you if you hired a plumber and he was supposed to help you with something like you should see benefits. And I think therapists sometimes, I don't know, it must have been like in the therapy manual, I guess, but maybe I didn't read it. But it must have been like, because I swear a lot of therapists will say something like, you know, you can't really really to see results until like, you know, six months or, you know, and I don't know, some people have positive results, some people don't. And I'm like, that's kind of a cop out. I feel like we should, you know, if someone's paying you for a service, they should experience a benefit, you know, and that's kind of like a certain morality law that I've taken on, which is like, it's like the law of non harm. It's like, if I'm working with someone, definitely not harming them. But also, if I don't see improvements, then like, you need to let them go to find that other thing that can touch them, you know, because one size doesn't fit all, you you for, I know someone right now, that's my family that she's working with a therapist, and she's just in the talking phase. And I'm so happy for her. She's, you know, she's doing really well. For someone else, they might need that physical release, they might need that somatic thing. So yeah, for those listening right now, I would would say, connect with what you're already doing and just trust like, if it's not helping you that there's there are other things out there. And luckily, we're in a very rich environment right now, like all these modalities, like, they're available, right? I mean, like we I didn't have them back, you know, 30 years ago. Absolutely.
And, you know, there are going to be combinations of things that are going to fit a specific person to, you you and, you know, maybe we can chat a little bit about some of the things that you discovered when you went to India and how they became part of your self care. Because Because mean, we talked a little bit before we started recording about self care, and how incredibly important that has been for you. And then for, you know, your clients and not just self care, like taking a bath and like, you know, doing the beauty things and like things like that we kind of associate with self care. But like, what does it mean to have self care in your relationships? What does it mean to have self care in your working life? So how did these modalities that you have gathered? How did they support you in discovering that kind of self care for your own body?
Well, I feel like the self care journey, as I think you've already mentioned, it's not like it's something that you constantly it's a relationship, it's not like you can just love your partner and then be like, that was the best day I just like gave him a massage. I was nice, I did the dishes and like, that's it. Like it's, it's a journey and it's a relationship and it's kind of always shifting and changing because your body is not, you know, the same, it's not stagnant. It's like, the self care I do right now is going to shift, you know, next year and you know, so it's, it's a journey. And so I think I read this book on hormones one time and it was, I think change your hormone, change your life. And in the book, it was talking about how specifically in our 20s, we have, we all have this like savings account of hormones. And so it's actually meant for us to kind of, we could be more, I guess, reckless and sort of like that's when we build our careers, right? That's where we might go to school or work the hardest to sort of support ourselves later on in life. And And all I want to say is I definitely used all my hormonal savings account with graduate school and everything. And so for me, self care now as a woman, you know, in her late 30s is it's, it looks so different. It's like, how many clients can I see? How many, how many obligations can I take on? You You how many chores can I do in one day? Everything is really thought out because I can't just do it all because even if I do do it all, then I'll have to listen to my body and my body will say things like, hey, that's too much. And so one of the greatest mantras that I've been living by for the past year or so is I want to live within the boundaries of my nervous system. I care more about that than almost anything else. Because if I could be there for you and be there for all the clients, but I'm not living within the boundaries of my nervous system, I'm essentially stealing from myself to give you, which is essentially looking for external validation, external rewards, money, acclaim, you know, people pleasing, but really I'm not giving you from a sustainable source. So that's my greatest, you know, insight really. So these days I work with many, many less clients. Funny enough, I have more to offer and I work with like a fraction of what I used to. Isn't that just so silly? But that's where I'm at. And And just something I sit, it's like I'm sitting within the seat of my own internal body and my nervous system. And so when invitations come or opportunities come, I don't think if I want to do them, which is what I used to think, like, that sounds great. I used to be like, yes, yes, yes, everything. I just let my body feel it. And I feel it. And And if it's something exciting, like a party or an opportunity, and my body is like, no, no, I don't want to. And I just, I'm we're one in the same. So So just I'm the I'm the voice to communicate that. And so in India, it was a complete and utter breaking down. I literally broke down in the most beautiful of ways. I mean, I had a moment where I looked at myself in the mirror and I'd been, I'd felt this sense of like beauty through the hair that I had on my head. I felt like I felt pretty with this hair. But it was almost like overly attachment. Like Like I if I didn't have hair, I probably wouldn't be as, I wouldn't be beautiful. And so in India, I had a moment I was like, sitting in my room alone, and I'd wanted to shave my hair off for as long as I could remember. But I was always afraid, because the moment I shaved my hair off, it would basically take me off the market. No one would ever look at me and I'd be this hideous, ugly alien. And so in India, in the Osho ashram, one evening, I shaved off all my hair. I, you know, so I, I started to do these initiations where I let go of everything I thought I was in order to rebuild myself from the inside out. And so, Hannah semantics, I found Hannah semantics in Oroville. And I didn't even really know what I was getting into because I was basically just saying yes to any type of healing that resonated with me. So Hannah semantics was one of them and it gave me the opportunity to move so slowly and see such a magnitude of positive effect on my body, but from seemingly nothing. I mean, literally it felt like I was just sitting on the ground, my legs on the ground, my butt on the ground and just doing nothing and feeling these intense releases. So it was kind of turning everything on its head, you know, and back in the West and in America, I was like working out really hard, drinking, you know, cold press green juices, like, I was doing all this like self care, like masculine self care. And feeling, you know, like, physically, I look, you know, I looked like I looked healthy, I seemed great, everyone's like, wow, you're doing life like really well. But internally, I was just so empty and so lost and so, so like so broken down. And now in India, I was actually breaking down but physically losing my hair lost a bunch of weight, you know, India can do that to you. And, and internally just like breaking down like these tension patterns, but I started to feel this sense of awakening. And literally, this was like one of the most like incredible mornings I literally woke up and out of nowhere. And then I then singing, Akuna Matata, like, it just came out of nowhere because it wasn't like watching TV or having your reference to it but that's, that was kind of like the theme of what I was feeling was just Akuna Matata it means no worries and I looked in the mirror and I looked like this like freaky ball headed skinny pale girl. And I felt so beautiful. I mean, I felt so good. I just like, you know, and it was like, I just laughed because that's like the irony of life isn't it like the very thing you think it's going to be it's always a turn on its head it's like, you know, it's like, here I was in LA with the hair with this and this and this and feeling so ugly and unworthy. And here I had none of that, and I felt for the first time actually beautiful.
That's an awesome story I love that I, I'm picturing you with a bald head and I'm sure you were just totally, totally adorable. My husband is super funny about shaved heads like he, he would love it if I shaved my head I haven't done it for him yet but he thinks that he's an artist and he thinks that you get to see someone's face more when they have no hair. So there's something in that kind of like seeing yourself without the adornments, you know, the nakedness of it, where you get to look into your face and what you see instead is like just these really pure kind of human qualities that get obscured you know unintentionally by all of our, you know, cultural adornments including long hair and, you know, and I mean your hair looks kind of similar to mine I'm sure your hair was gorgeous, but there was also a beauty underneath that you just didn't have access to, right that you kept looking for
It was also like not only I didn't have access to, but I'd been told ever since like, you know, consciously or unconsciously that women are not beautiful without hair, and you're only beautiful because of the hair and so it's like, you know, even though I ended up feeling quite even more beautiful and free without the hair, because I never like address that or I never touched that I always felt like an inherent shame, like when I started losing my hair which is around graduate school and no one would know it but I knew it I felt I saw the hair come out. I started feeling all this like shame and unworthiness and fear like God forbid. I don't have my hair. And so when I shaved it and I just went to the punchline. I, I got to take my power back I got to reclaim my pattern power and even till this day. Not that I have those issues as much anymore but like, if I have a bad hair day or something like I have a new found like, embodiment where I'm just like, look, like I'll talk to myself like look like, you know, like, know, had no hair like nothing can scare me now and I feel that the clients who struggle I'm like, if you really want to feel free then when you shave it and it's like you can't go any lower than that
like, you know, totally I feel you you know I have like funny hair story because the first time that I, I had super super long hair when I was like 1314 like mermaid hair like down to my butt. And my entire like class was like obsessed with it like kids would be playing with my hair you know guys liked it it was this whole like image that I had. And when I was 16 years old I decided to kind of do what you did like that Joan of Arc moment where I just like buzzed off all of my hair. And my mom was like totally freaked out she's like, Oh my goodness, because I had a job at Wendy she's like you're gonna you look like a lesbian you're going to get fired from your job at Wendy's hamburgers and I was like mom. I have two bosses that are openly gay to totally different world do not worry about it I'm fine. And my boyfriend at the time was upset because he said that his mom always had long hair and he just felt that like women should have long hair. Flash forward to years later my hair is you know pretty long again. And I have another moment like that, where I just need to remove all of my hair and I just went with a pair of scissors and you know it was kind of funny because it sort of coincided with Britney Spears doing something similar it was like right around that time where Britney like shaved her head you know, and I just was like oh man I like feel you Britney really feel you know and so I did that again and it's funny because this time I did a different boyfriend. He said, you know, I just don't like when women have short hair because my mother always had short hair. And so it makes me think of my mother and I don't want to, I, you know, I, you're my girlfriend I don't want to think of you like my mother and I was just like looking at this going like, What are these weird synchronicities with these particular like partners that are, you know, it's like it's just hair like I just kept saying that I remember both times I'm like, it's going to grow back or maybe it's not but like it's just hair it doesn't really change like who I am. Right, but it did for them.
You know what, as you're speaking I'm just thinking like, thank you for your perfect projections here take them back they don't belong to me because that happened to me and I was in India where long thick, luscious long hair is revered not even revered it's just a it's a standard there. And women were really sad, they would like look at me because they were like you were such a pretty girl and I was like, thanks. But I just I really laugh, because I had such I had such a boot the whole time because I could feel everyone else's projections and it's something we can all do it's like you know as we're evolving. And you start to look more like yourself, you're you ain't going to look like other people and so you will have to weather the storms of everyone's projections, the person you're with the family the mom everyone's looking at you because you're you're basically cutting your hair, or cutting yourself out of the mold. And that's going to cause them to have projections but if you can clearly be prepared and laugh with it. Know that they're not there you don't have to keep them it's just like a gift you know like the Buddha says like, if someone gives you a gift, and you don't accept it whose gift does it belong to. I don't need to take on your projection so people would look at me like did you get cancer I mean I got all sorts of comments and I would just laugh because I was like you know what I just I saw that it was so not me anymore it was all about other people. And so my my beauty my freedom started to shine even more because I just started laughing and, and I loved it I loved being kind of a freaky weirdo in India because as a as a young woman, I felt safer. I kind of got like another, you know, benefit of that and so. So after that I went to other places in India and everything was just so like flowy and I'd meet this person we've traveled together it'd be like my travel best friend or travel partner. But I think the whole overarching experience in India was just shaking me up in every way shape or form and then I got spit back up into America. And here I was like, I'm like, okay I just been completely changed, but I'm still working with clients and so that's just what I did I started to incorporate the conversations I had had with myself the experiences I had with myself and what as as someone who like embodied it or like, you know got initiated into that energy. I started working with clients but it felt different. It wasn't like the way it was before I was like, I'm going to heal this patient. I'm going to help them. I was very like masculine like I'm helping you. Now I would just sit back listen to their conversation. Hold the space of spaciousness. It was very feminine right my work was just like holding space for them and oftentimes they would just like talking away that they could start to feel internally their own silence. And so that happened for a couple of years as I transitioned.
Wow, that's awesome. I love that that's, it's a different way of approaching a therapeutic, I guess, conversation is sort of allowing the person to open right versus opening them up versus like an activity where you're sort of, you know and I don't want to use this word and like, you know, the word I kind of comes to mind is kind of like a little bit more aggressive like okay we're going to do this thing right and I'm going to come at you and we're going to do this. You know, versus, let's see what unfolds. Let's see what shows up here what you know as you talk, and I receive your, you know your information I receive your energy, not just the words you're saying, but your facial expressions, and you start to interact with a whole different kind of like human intelligence, not only in you, but in them as well. And what I think is so profound is that obviously you're someone who's looking for knowledge. You're well educated, but that wasn't enough. You needed this experiential, lived, embodied knowledge, and you knew that. Your soul knew that, and that's what sent you on this journey, and that's what you've brought back with you. And obviously what you're continuing to cultivate is like a lived experience that we don't get just by sitting in a classroom, that we don't get when we're like you weren't getting it sitting in your office in LA. You got it from putting your body into these different experiences with a sense of curiosity and openness, and then working with what showed up in you.
Yeah, thank you for that reflection. Yeah, it's a journey, right? Because I'm still on it. But what I just thought was I just felt like I wasn't working anymore. Like sessions didn't feel like sessions in the past. It just felt like just connection. Like I was just loving the people I was talking to, and that was enough. And they were getting helped way more than they were in the past. And I can't really see I know what was happening. It was just kind of a mystery to me because I was just showing up, and I was just loving them. And then things would improve, and I would just trust that I was being used. And so that's actually the time where the channel started happening. So I started to channel. And I didn't know it was channeling at the time. I was just like, wow, I see some pretty, pretty cool stuff in sessions. I don't know what it's coming out. But it's like, I was like, it's almost like I myself was listening to myself being like, that's some good advice. I was like writing it down. And it only happened with these clients. And so I started to realize like, oh, that's what channeling is. And so it was like versus like the masculine, like I'm educated, I'm knowledgeable, I have the knowledge and I'm going to impart it for you because I paid you hundreds of thousands of dollars for this knowledge because I'm a psychologist. And it shifted to like, actually, I'm going to come to each session as empty as possible. And so I would, you know, that's when I made meditation practice really started to like become a regular thing and meditating and holding still and being as still as possible so that something greater than myself can come through me and be shared. And so that's sort of why the therapy became so easy because I kind of wasn't doing anything. Right.
It's yeah, there's a quality of like, I want to call it like an undoing, but like it's just you're not there's it's a different kind of activity. It's an interesting thing because I know just what you're talking about in terms of staying present and being empty for the experience to unfold in front of you versus trying to orchestrate something. Exactly.
Like I, you know, I used to have clients and I'd feel, you know, I was always so young at the time, like when I first started and I would have these like patients that were married with like a child and I'm like, I don't even have a boyfriend put together for my life and I'm here trying to help them. So I had to like, you know, garner up this like bravado of like, I'm the, you know, and then switch back to after India was like, I was like, I had nothing to prove. And I didn't even care. It's like all the people that were coming to me were like coming from the universe. Like I didn't even promote myself. It was just like an old client had told another person to come see me. It was like really weird how I even started working again, because I wasn't even like on anything like to promote myself. And I would just sit. And so the difference was like before I would have to like physically like put myself together to like give them something. And now I did a lot of work, but it was a different type of work. It's like the feminine work. I was doing a lot of preparatory stuff to be empty. Like it takes, it takes effort to be empty. If your cup is full, it takes energy to pour it out, to clean it out. So that's what I was doing was doing different kind of work. It was more of the feminine. So meditating, spending a lot of time in nature. And also like really being aware of like my surroundings, like not being in the city anymore. I left the city. I started to travel. I moved to a different, you know, state, a different city, living in nature, surrounded by trees. So when people would like call me for sessions, I was just in a better place in my own life. And so I can just more easily work versus an LA, I would have to do so much just to be available for a patient. I'd have to like be on those cold pressed juices, because my immune system was so fraught, you know, the histamine, the leaky gut. I mean, everything was like so, everything was so nervous that I had to like combat it with like, you know, constantly going to healers, psychologists, doctors and, you know, exercise, be on elimination diets, I could be there for the client. Do you know what I'm saying? So much efforting versus now I was just living, embodying a good life. I was feeling happy. So I could just share that without having to like, it's just like different. What are you going to focus on? It's like, are you going to focus on health? Or are you going to focus on getting healthy? There's two different things.
Yeah, yeah. I think that having the right environment and that's that's huge. And many of us don't know that we're in like a toxic environment for our nervous system, until we experience something else until we step out of it completely. We're not even aware. Because it's it can be a subtle thing, you know, everybody else is living with this traffic and with this level of noise and this level of, you know, disruption really to our natural rhythms. But we get so used to it that we don't notice until we experience the alternatives. And I'm actually outside LA right now. And I was living up in the mountains. And then right now we're kind of in between places, we're figuring out where we're going to go next. And I'm definitely feeling that impact of being, you know, in a more densely populated area. Yeah, it's it's a lot. And so it is a lot.
People should be compassionate to themselves if you have to live, you know, in a more densely populated area for, you know, access to something your children need or for your work environment. And at the same time, it's still difficult. So like, you can't just pretend like it doesn't exist. But how can you acknowledge it? And then be kind to yourself and also proactively work with it. You know, because if you just completely ignore the fact that it's affecting us, then the body, like the stove example, will burn us. And it'll be like, how? Like, you know, that's very like harsh.
Yes, yes. And like you said, there are wonderful, all kinds of wonderful ways that we can support our systems when we are living in a more stressful environment, you know, or when there are stressful periods that go on in our lives, you know, where we cannot, you know, simply escape this scenario at this particular moment, we have to stick through this experience to some degree, right? There's all kinds of things that come up in life where we kind of have to deal with this stress for a while, you know, and then once the stress is over, you know, do we have tools to recover and how well were we managing it even during that time, you know, like my dad was in the hospital last winter, like on Christmas day with severe sepsis, you know, and there was simultaneously this other kind of occupational challenge that was going on for me. And it was just this period of time where I was just like, it's going to be really stressful for a little while. And I can't really change anything about that. But what can I do to just do small things to help mitigate the level of stress that I'm experiencing? And then following that, you know, when the stress kind of was over, it's like I had to take time, you know, and so those skills.
The technology that you took time because that's not just easy to see that. I mean, that's amazing that you had that awareness to also know that, okay, I'm going to dip down into my reserves, and then I need to go and fill it back up because I took from there. And that's okay.
Yes, yes. And that's why we want to have those reserves available. And then, you know, there have been times in my life where I didn't really have reserves available and my body and my health dramatically suffered because, you know, I really hadn't been taking care. But the more that we get in touch with our bodies, more that we like start living in them and building pathways to be able to have access to it, you know, like so many of the, you know, modalities that you teach that you offer, you know, they are about creating new pathways in our body to be able to have access and to be able to make changes real time to what our living experience is. And so when, when we have stuff happen, when shit hits the fan, right, that we have some level of reserve, that we have some level of reserve that we can dip into when needed.
A savings. Exactly. And if you look at what you're saying, it's so important because I would say most people don't like whether we're speaking metaphorically or like actually about dollar bills, like we are walking around without a savings account, like they say most Americans, if they had, you know, a car issue that is around $300, $400, they don't even have the money for that. And so we are not going to talk about in terms of anything shame or blame or whatever, but we could just be like, you know what, how can we work today to put a dollar in that internal savings account? And, you know, I think if we look at society as a whole, as a teacher, as a guide, we would say that it's encouraging us to live unsustainably. And that's okay, because that's like the contrast, right? It's like, I was living unsustainably, you know, and I got those effects, right? And so now I'm looking at life from a whole different lens. I'm also a mother now. So it's like that has completely shifted my awareness of sustainability. Like as a single woman, I had a different level and a different understanding of sustainability. Now as a mother, it's even more, it's like, I can only do so many chores a day, even if I want to do the laundry, I can only do so many, because if I do too much, let's say on the chore front or too many clients on the professional career front, I'm taking, you know, money, I'm taking energy from my tank, which I get, you know, daily filled up for my kids. And so personally, my priority is the family right now, because they're young and that they need me, you know, that's what I'm signed up for. And so I think for all of us, it's like finding something that can start to help you cultivate that inner resiliency. And so just to name a few, I would say Hannah semantics is incredible. One, two, it's gonna, it's gonna consistently unload you, it's kind of like taking a shower, but on a like muscular level and unburden you, which we all get burdened, like no shame in that, like, that's why we do things like Hannah semantics, because we're just gonna assume right, just assume that every time you take a shower, assume you'll get dirty. Right, I'm never, I'm never taking like the best shower ever. And I'm like, this is it, I've nailed it, I've showered to the end. And I'm never taking a shower again. I just assumed that it's part of my practices. So as you're listening to us, I want you to also think about like, we haven't, we haven't like reached the mountaintop, like, I do my practices. And when I don't do my practices, I feel dirty, you know, I just do, I don't feel like myself, like they're one evening last week, I ended up staying out too late, like, just kind of feeling into what would it be like to not get enough sleep. And I woke up the next day, like, it was almost like this emotional hangover. And I loved it, I was like, wow, this is why I sleep, you know, eight hours a night or whatever I need to get, because it was like a good expression to show me why I do what I do, because I like to, I like to play with it, I don't want to just meditate and do all the things, because some, some, you know, ego in the sky, some spiritual ego in the sky is telling me I should, I want to do what I need to do, because it actually benefits me, you know. So, so yeah, so one of the many things is the Hanosomatix emotions code, if you don't know what that is, definitely Google it, there's a book on it, we can, you can all easily be trained in it, and that's super powerful. I would say if you're starting your journey, better to hire someone to do it for you, just because in the beginning, it's just like a lot to unpack, and it could be overwhelming. So that's kind of how I started my emotions code journey is I had some practitioner work on me for a few a year or so, and then I start to like do the cleanup maintenance. Another incredible resource, there's EMDR, that's great. I prefer actually EFT, because I'm always pro the modalities that patients can do on their own. I'm constantly trying to outsource myself so that they don't need me. I don't think the idea of being a successful healer is that you have a huge client list of people that are desperately needing you. I constantly try to get myself out of a job, you know, the beginning sessions, I'm doing it for them, but then I transition them to teach them the modalities. That's why I like the tapping, because they don't need me. You know, EMDR is a little bit more involved. So tapping is amazing. I even have a video on YouTube, just Dr. Maya Shakti tapping, and it's literally a whole tapping session that people can just follow along, because I'm all about giving them the tools. Another incredible resource is chronic healing. That I feel, I haven't told you too much about that, but that was a huge game changer for me. Amy was to actually be connected to a healing modality that I saw results in real time. And we can talk about that another time, or if you have any questions about that, but that kind of is where I am right now as a chronic healer. So I got trained and I'm working towards more and more training just because I just keep seeing benefits in my own life, and that's what's driving me. There's nothing driving me more than results right now, because I feel like this is the arrow we're in. We're in such a, we're leaving behind like the intellectual, everyone knows everything about everything. You can pick up any book and it'll tell you anything you need to know. And we all know it, but how many of us are actually feeling healed and happy and peaceful?
So that's what I'm Well, because we can gather knowledge, but it's a totally different thing to actually experience and practice. And those two things, experience and practice, they take time. They don't happen in one session. They don't happen in one sitting. With chronic healing, I really haven't heard of that before, but I mean, I immediately think of like, does it have something to do with breathing, or is it a different? What's the?
What chronic healing is, it's not, it's like new, it's ancient, but it's like a modern curation of it. So Master Choa Khaak Sui, who's no longer in his body at this at now, he left his body a few years ago. He was a very like, he's an engineer mind, scientist mind. And so he went through all the major healing modalities, and he, he curated and cultivated this, this, this healing system based on actual results. So he would have like, top clairvoyance, like really see in real time, if it's working and effective. So maybe you could have it in your show notes about chronic healing. But I would say that is the future of where we're going with healing. And it's a healing modality that's based on its energy. So it's really working on like the chakras. The whole theory of it is like, just like we're talking about showering, it's like energetic showering on a daily basis, but to get to a level of spiritual, emotional, physical, mental hygiene, energetic hygiene, really, so that you feel better. So once I got into that, I saw some big shifts because of my sensitivity. It's like, we're not all equal. Like some people can eat, you know, gluten, and it's not a big deal. But for my body, it's sensitive. And just like, I can't eat certain processed foods, I can't also digest certain energies. And so it kind of like affects me really negatively. And so what chronic healing has allowed me to do is to just clean myself, you know, after I work with clients, I cut my cords, I cut their cords, I energetically sweet myself, you know, if I'm feeling overly sensitive and stressed, I can clear the part of my body that energetically relates to that. And so that's been a game changer for me because it's a very thoughtful, mythological, concise, clear way of self healing. And again, like all the things I'm sharing, it's good to start with a practitioner. But the cool thing is you can do it too. And you don't need to like go become, you know, doctor this or be a healer, I'm never like telling people to be a healer, because like, there's plenty of other things we could be doing. But we are in a time right now where there's a lot of challenges, right? Like more so, it feels more so than ever. And so wouldn't it be great to just be able to shower yourself without having to like pick up the phone every time you need to take a shower? That's all I'm saying. It's just responsibility and sustainability on a financial and on any level. Absolutely.
And it's empowering to the individual to be able to make a difference in their own suffering in the moment that they're experiencing it. And that's what I love about Hanosomatix. You know, I will tell people, you know, you don't need me to do Hanosomatix, you can, there's plenty of videos on YouTube, there's books, you know, there's resources that are out there. You know, what you hire a practitioner for in the beginning is to actually get a foundational understanding of what this is when you have literally never experienced this before. When you've never moved to this way before, there's a learning curve and there's a philosophy. You know, in Hanosomatix, we go with the muscular pattern rather than pulling against it, which is totally counterintuitive to most yoga practices, which is totally counterintuitive to most exercise, you know, philosophies in general. You know, so it takes some time to learn to do that instead of the first thing that most people do when they notice that they're in a bad posture, quote unquote, bad posture, right, slouching is they just straighten themselves up. They just try to force themselves out of the pattern. Well, we take a totally different approach in Hanosomatix. And it's not difficult to learn, but it does take some focus and attention and it takes some mentoring in the beginning, you know, in same with, you know, all these other tools that you're speaking of, depending on how well you connect in with your body and the different things that are being held in your body, just having a person there who's going to be with you and the experience can be fundamental in terms of your ability to actually go there and do it, you know, and I think that's why, you know, self-paced courses, learning from books, there's a very small percentage of humans that actually do that because it's a lot.
They do benefit. Some people do like I'm not one of those people like even the other day, I wanted to learn how to knit. And I pulled up the video, the YouTube and I was there with my, and it's like so easy, but I could not do it. So I put the knitting down and I'm going to do a class. I'm the kind of person that needs to be in the field, you know, when I was the early psychologist, I was in all the therapies, cognitive behavioral psychoanalysis, and I was in all the therapies because I was like, if I'm going to be this person, I need to actually experience it myself. And now I'm just into like the healing thing. And I feel like it's, it behooves you to hire someone that's way ahead of you in that modality, stand on their shoulders. It's a shortcut. But for those of us that maybe financially we can't get started, there's plenty of resources you can start with. Like tapping is I think pretty easy and accessible. And there's certain things you can get started with now. So don't feel like it's like I have to hire this amazing healer in order to do it. I'm just saying that there's something for everyone and meet yourself where you're at and know you can take those few steps. Absolutely.
And that you could also, depending on the kind of person you are, I mean, I've had people do one session with me, pay attention, really focus in on it, and then they just do it. And they're still doing it. And they just got as much as they could out of that one session. You know what I mean? And there's people that that's, that's all they need. And then there's people that really require and need a lot more time with something in order to make it a practice. That they carry in their lives. And that was me personally, I needed a lot more time and mentorship. You know, and so that's part of me.
That's part of why you require Amy, because you are teaching it at such a high level, you really need to like concretize the information into every being of yourself. And that's kind of like the higher, that's what you require that sort of high level maintenance in order, because you're disseminating it so much. So it's like, I also resonate with that completely. Like, I almost tell people, like, am I like the slowest learner in the history? Because like, it takes me so long to learn something, even though it looks like an effortlessly, I know all these techniques, but I've like trained in them for years. And, and, but, but then when I get to the point when I teach it to clients, it feels really easy, but only because it integrated it. So, no, not everyone's the same. And I think you need to ask yourself the question, like, be real with yourself. What kind of a learner are you? And, and just go from there. If you really need a lot, then maybe save money and like structure it so that you can do the work. You know what I'm saying? Like, we have to meet ourselves or we're out. We can't just like skip steps. Absolutely.
I guess, you know, this, this has been such an inspiring conversation, because I think, you know, you're probably just a few years older than me. I'm 35 this year. I don't know how old you are, but like it just, there's, there's things that you've talked about today that really like resonate with me, you know, being a mother, having a small child, also being like an entrepreneur, you know, being a guide for others in their healing and also just realizing so much this year that I need to like reevaluate how I use my energy because there's these different areas of my life that require my attention and my energy. And if I get too focused on one area that I forget about the other areas, you know, it's my life is going to let me know. My body is going to let me know. My child will let me know. My husband will let me know. All of that. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's been such a fruitful thing to listen to, you know, your experience and your journey. And I'm sure the people listening could also relate to these things because they're, they're really fundamental struggles that I think especially as women, we're facing every day because there is this like, we're facing it hard. We're facing it hard. Yeah. This modern woman who's the superhero, who's the supermom who does all the things and runs a, you know, successful business who keeps a beautifully clean house and who makes healthy meals and all this stuff that like is sort of over us all the time, you know, and then when we miss one area and, you know, then we can feel like we failed. We can feel like we're not doing it, you know, or, and then that kind of stuff comes in and it's really important to, to not only acknowledge that what we're trying to do is kind of an impossible feat.
And it's like what I said about in the beginning, we're set up with that unsustainability. So don't, you know, don't try to win because if you win in that unsustainable structure, you've lost. Right. Right. But yeah, it happens with women. We're set up right now in a complete, it's like a complete wash. It's a complete loss. Like if you are successful in your career and you're doing the children thing, it's, you're going to feel ashamed in one, you know, in one or both areas. You're never enough in the work, even if you are, and you're never enough with your kids, even if you are. And my advice to myself that, that you might benefit to hear as well, but this is my mantra for myself is I am also a child of God. As, as are my children, they're my children. And I am also a child. And I also deserve to be loved, cared for, well fed, nourished, you know, sleeping well. And so I look at myself with the love that I look at my children. And it's, it's been a real journey that I deeply care about myself. And so if that means playing with them less, because I have to take my daily naps, because that's what helps me show up more presently, I do that. And I've created that boundary with my kids. And, and they know, they know mommy's nicer and happier and, and just like all around better vibes when I've taken my nap. And so sometimes even tell me they're like, have you taken your nap? And I'm like, Oh, thanks for that reflection. No, I haven't. Let me do that. And we very openly talk about how we show up. And I've encouraged them to beat to, I've not encouraged them because kids are perfect, but I've not suppressed their expression of how I am. And so I do take care of myself. And that is a commitment to my children. Because I grew up with, you know, that sort of mom, everything else was clean, you know, three, four course meals for dinner we had. And she was stressed out of her mind. I mean, you know what I'm saying? She got a very ill, like she got very, very ill when I was around nine years old, like life and death type of illness. And to me, I'm just kind of like, no, let's stop pretending that I can do it all. Right. The kids know they're like, why are we only having this for dinner? Like, because that's, because that's all I can muster, you know, why can't we go out and play because mommy's tired. And I just be I'm just real with them. I'm real with them so that they don't have to feel it anyways. Yeah, that's my courage. Real kids will kids are way compassionate because trust me, they can feel it all. So there's nothing we can really hide from them. So might as well just give them the vocabulary to understand what's going on. It's like I'm raising basically my little self.
I love that. I'm going to I'm going to take that with me for the rest of the day for sure, because you know, my self care and it's funny because you know how I grew up, my mom was also completely overextended. But you know, but you know, she was she was the breadwinner and like a single mom and working night shift and the house was a crazy mess. And like, my brother and I were you know, making food like frozen burritos out of the freezer, you know, for ourselves, because she was exhausted. You know, and there are times when like, I just catch myself being in that same pattern of just like trying to do it all and becoming overwhelmed. And it's like, what I really need in that moment is like to just once again, see myself as I see my kid like, Oh, I need to eat something. And I need a nap. And I probably need to drink some water, you know, and if I can just get those basic needs met, and let everything else just chill for a moment, I can come back into that chaotic experience or what felt like a chaotic experience. And I can handle it with a lot more grace, when my own needs are met, you know, and and I really, I really am saying this now, I'm listening to you and I'm just I'm calling all women who are hearing this right now, let this sink in in a deep way that that is that is the key is taking care of your well being and your body on the regular so that you have the capacity for anything else that is there in your life to be addressed, whether it's your children or your business or your personal relationships, it's all going to stem from your connection to yourself and how you're meeting your own needs. And I'm saying that just as much for myself right now as anybody else.
It's hard, we, we, it's not something that I'm on the mountaintop with because I'm still a teacher of it because, because as a woman who is the breadwinner and also, you know, full time with the kids, it's, it's impossible. And so I'm in complete surrender and I'm like the fat Buddha that's just laughing because I think it's ridiculous, like we are in a pickle, all of us women are in a pickle, men have their own challenges as well, but I'm just kind of zeroing on on this because it's it's one I'm very close and dear to. And it's just hard. And so I'm giving my daughters an opportunity to see that I get tired, I get moody, and I get hungry. And for them to see that I'm also a human being and I'm not perfect so that they can sort of copycat the perfection and continue that, that, that unsustainable perfectionism that actually is not really helping anyone. Because as a child who came from a pretty perfect mom, I had some severe, you know, challenges of anxiety and overwhelm and I did not know at all how to emotionally regulate. So that's my greatest focus right now on my kids is like, yeah, they'll eat, you know, yeah, whatever. But can they have their emotions regularly? Can they work on that? And how can I teach them something that I don't have? So that's my focus right now.
And we'll see how that goes. Yeah, well, I mean, yes, it is all an experiment. And you've done such an incredible job in sharing, you know, your experience with us today, your experience in leaving behind a whole other version of yourself that existed once, and inviting in this new, this new being who's here in front of us who is moving forward. And as you said at the beginning of this podcast that life is kind of, you know, pushing us forward. And that can we go with the flow of life and at the same time, like take care of ourselves in the daily moments, right? And, and I really think that's such a beautiful message to share with everybody today. I'm sure so many people can resonate with the, with that dynamic, right? So thank you so much for coming on for sharing this beautiful conversation with me. And if anybody wants to reach out to you, if, if, you know, they're curious about working with you or the work that you do in general, where can they find you?
So it's going to be very, it's going to be really kind of funny, because it stems from everything I've been saying, which is actually not a joke. I am really keeping it simple. I am not on Instagram. You cannot find me on any social media platforms, because I do have small kids and I'm really creating this sustainability between my home life and my practice. But if those of you who feel called to work with me or just to see more of what I may be doing in the future, I have one website that I'm currently, that's currently active, it's Dr. DR. Maya Shakti. So my first and last name, M-A-Y-A-S-H-A-K-T-I dot com. And I offer consultations and they're really about giving you the opportunity to see what might be helpful. I'm really have a lot of resources and people in my network. So it's about like, I also love connecting people with, you know, like, Oh, you, I think it'd be better to start off with a Hannah Semantics, or I'm really good at like being a case manager. So I offer that to people for free because I believe that we all deserve to be helped and healed. And I love to be able to be that person to support. And they can also potentially book a session with me if it resonates, but that's kind of just what I'm doing right now. I'm keeping it really simple, Amy, as much as I want to fly and kind of do much bigger things in my career. That's kind of where I'm being called right now is just to keep it simple until, until maybe my kids ages have, you know, once it starts to get older and I have more space in my schedule. So yeah, thank you for allowing me to share that. And I just have just enjoyed so much our conversations been an incredible like opportunity to reflect and be reflected and to hear.
Oh, yes, absolutely. Well, thanks again. And we will be in touch, you and I, and yeah, to any of the listeners out there, check the show notes to find ways to interact with Dr. Maya. If you have questions, you know, check out all these incredible resources that she spoke about of these different modalities that can support you in your self care and handling the stress that life throws at us, right, and healing from the things that have accumulated in our somas and in our life experiences. Thank you again. Bye bye. Hello, everyone. Thank you for listening to the Free Your Soma podcast. If you enjoyed this interview with Amanda and feel inspired to learn more about the Radiance program, please go to www.freeyoursoma .com The next round starts November 4th. Podcast listeners will receive $500 off of the six month program. I'm so excited to see you blossom and shine as the soma of the being that you truly are. So much love to you.